There are no absolutes in the world, not really, so don’t expect too much from yourself, anyone else, or anything – but please don’t get cynical or judgemental either.
Just keep trying to be who you want to be – but don’t be uptight about it – try to relax into it. Be ready to forgive yourself and others for not being perfect – just try to view ‘mistakes’ or unexpected events as an opportunity to learn.
You can ask yourself and others to do things, or behave in certain ways, and you may plan as clearly and carefully as possible, but we can all only do our best as fallible human beings, each with our own limited knowledge and experience. So life tends to be full of setbacks and misunderstandings, but we can ultimately overcome these.
Don’t worry about it – as worry is just a waste of energy. Just quietly develop your plans. Choose to take the power into your own hands and choose who or what it is you want to be or do – and plan how to achieve it.
A life coach can help to advise you, but he or she is just there to help you make realistic and achievable goals that work for you and what you wish to achieve – the ultimate responsibility still lies with yourself. They help you plan in measurable and timely steps or stages – along with planning for the necessary support, rewards, etc, and they can also help with advice such as how to discuss things with others.
If you are not sure what you want, then a good coach can also help you work this out. Try listing possibilities, and scoring them according to how you feel about each. Don’t be blocked by how difficult anything might seem, just be guided by how interested you are in doing it. If needed, a coach (or counsellor) can also chat with you to tease out what you think any issues might be and help look at them with a different perspective.
You also have the power to help others plan their achievements – see the positives in them and try to express gladness to encourage them with their progress. This might apply to a friend, or even to a person doing some work for you. Your support can make it easier for them to get results. If you greet a workman by telling him you are impressed with his timing, for example, and offering him a hot drink, then he will be inclined to work well for you, and you will both be pleased.
True friends (hopefully including your close family) are people who help their friends to be who they truly are, and will remind them if they deviate from that or act out of character. They will also support them in their efforts to achieve any change or goals, so they would for example not smoke in front of them if they are in the process of giving up, or not insist on buying them a drink if they are driving, and they would understand and give them space if they needed to study for example instead of going out with them quite so often. Someone might even offer to take on a task such as babysitting to enable you to do what you need to do.
Don’t be afraid to ask people to listen to your point of view, or to consider your needs and feelings. If you are able to explain then there is every chance they will be helpful.
If you have a particular thing you wish to discuss, it is best to ask to set some time aside for this rather than just randomly try to throw it into a conversation.
Don’t be afraid to try new things – say yes if an interesting opportunity arises – and then take the time to plan. Anyone can learn new skills, reach new targets, or have an adventure, if they are prepared to try.
Change could be in any area including: communication, habits or patterns of behaviour, financial or economical, career or work-life balance, a move, relationships, fitness, health, taking up a hobby, further study, etc.
Live on Purpose. Change is natural, there is no need to fear it, just give yourself the tools to enable the change to happen as you would wish it.
Don’t be tempted to give up if there is a setback or relapse – the cycle of change allows for this – the thing is to recognise this for what it is and just get back on the wheel.
You need to be aware that it is normal to start going well, with all the initial motivation kicking in, and then you may get a bit disheartened when you run out of initial puff, so this is the time to really be prepared – have something else in place to see you through this tough stage – like a friend to come round and help out or just chat, or go out for a meal, or take a break (such as a weekend away) to renew yourself and build up more energy, or search for new inspiration. You could even do something nice for someone else to help boost your self esteem.
Don’t allow yourself to keep flopping out in the same place – you must figure out how to get past each stage, and you will be rewarded with your own delicious sense of success
OUR LIFE COACHING PACK
All 3 of my Achievable Goal Planning Sections in one bundle – How to Maximise Success, Help to Decide, and all FORMS to assist you
1 – How to HELP yourself DECIDE WHAT you really want to do.
Help with deciding on your goals in the first place. It’s best to get really clear before you begin the planning stage so that you don’t waste time and effort. For example, you could be trying to decide which course to study, what to do as a career (or change of career), or for a hobby etc, but you can also apply it to any decision you are not sure about (like moving home, ending a relationships, travelling etc). We do sometimes subconsciously block our own progress, particularly if we are not sure what we want, or if we don’t have enough self esteem or confidence in ourselves.
2 – HOW TO develop achievable Goal Plans, and put realistic Timescales, Support, and Rewards in place TO MAXIMISE SUCCESS
Includes details of what to think about before starting your plan. Includes details of how to prepare plans successfully by avoiding certain pitfalls. Includes details of how to keep motivated and communicate your needs to rally support.
3 – Goal Setting FORMS
Includes blank form for your use, plus a tutor form with guidelines on, plus several examples.
Examples include: 1) paying off debts, 2) losing weight & getting fit alongside study times, job, and committee obligations, 3) planning workshops with all the admin etc included, and 4) Improving Belief in Self as Parent and as having Valuable Skills & a Right to a Career of Own Choosing.