What the word ‘Spirituality’ means to me personally

Standard

Photo1864crop

For me personally it begins with my first memories.  As a small child I remembered being somewhere else and choosing to come here to write the book I have now written, and others before and after.

The internal knowledge of this has helped to make me resilient in this life, as obviously, if I remember being somewhere else before here, then this life cannot be a single event, and there is nothing to fear from death, as it is only a step into somewhere else again, some other adventure!

So to me spirituality is about being part of the vast infinite universe and everything in it.  I feel that all plants and animals are brethren, all peoples and cultures.  There is no reason to feel separate from anything; any feeling of separation is only an illusion for us to learn to let go of.  Maybe we have to feel kind of separate first to define ourselves and figure out how we want to live, but then we can open up to the rest, and gradually collapse apparent opposites. In my main book “No Paradox – Living both in and outside the Matrix”, I speak of this theory, and of how we can widen our vision to include stuff outside of the usual net of existence, the limiting beliefs that are often given us from an early age or through narrow experience perpetuated by immersion in a narrow social narrative.  Basically it is about consciously evolving our own consciousness so that we are no longer stuck in a limited reality and can thus ultimately stop reacting to that previously perceived limitation.  In another book “A little book on ‘Mastery’”, I write more on how we can learn to master ourselves to enable us to live more and more often in a higher state of consciousness.  I teach and create meditations to help people, but I think mindfulness is a fantastically simple way to make this whole area more easily accessible to many more people who might find the idea of meditation a bit complicated.  It is fantastic news that it has been so widely embraced, and is being used in so many settings, where I know it can make a huge difference to people’s awareness and wider consciousness.  I think it might even change humanity permanently for the better, especially with the younger generation growing up with it.

I was lucky enough to have my special memory of being somewhere else, so I was always open to a wider reality than most, and I was very lucky too to have an amazing upbringing with lots of travel and usually living close to nature.  Sometimes my family engaged in philosophical discussions after dinner, but mostly they were more logical or science based, and I developed my own sense of spirituality through immersing myself in nature, and through reading.

When I was very young, we lived on the west coast of Ireland and I used to gaze out to sea or run on the beach as a toddler and feel joyful at being a part of it all.  When we went to live in South Africa, I was just 6, and I got really close to nature in the Natal Drakensberg mountains.  Wild animals would come and let me touch them, trees and streams seemed to talk. I was always pretty independent, and although often with my younger brothers, I also spent a lot of time alone.

In later years I became a healer and dowser, and can sense many things going on in the subtle energy fields of people, animals, plants, and other natural objects.  I can even feel things from great distances, such as when dowsing on a map of somewhere on the other side of the world.  One of my brothers is a full time dowser and works all over the world.  He was trained as a Geologist but later discovered this ability, and also taught me, but he is far more able than I am at using this skill.  At times I have worked with him, and sometimes I have worked on my own.  When I have been finding water on people’s land, sometimes they have asked me to also dowse on a historical site for them.  I told them I know nothing about history but they said don’t worry, we will ask the questions, you just tell us what you feel in response.  Well, I found I had a sort of multi-sensory film going on in my head, of the past, including smell and even taste.  Apart from seeing a village with people coming and going, I could also smell the animals and the straw and taste wood smoke, and was able to answer their questions to their satisfaction. When healing someone I can sense a lot about what is going on in the body, where energy is tangled or blocked and how to untangle or release it, or if it is inflamed how to cool it, for example.  I can also often find an emotional reason for a blockage, which the body literally gives me a message about when I am working with a blocked area.  Then when I ask them about this, such as in one example – “Do you have a sister that you have a lot of trouble with?” – the client answered “Oh my gosh yes!”, which then enabled us to explore all that and find answers to help her gradually deal with the issue.  (I did train as a counsellor and life coach soon after I finished my 2 year full healer training.  I found a local healing group which was part of an international organisation that I trained with.  I went on to help train others and act as a regional representative for them, and then also chaired that large group for a couple of years.  Since then I have also done other training such as Nutritional Therapy, and Thai Hand & Foot Massage, all of which helps me help others, and myself, with overall well-being. Now, as I work part time as a carer for PMLD people, I thought Mindfulness in Mental Health would be a good course to add, as I am ever curious to learn more.  I’m also an artist, as well as a writer and poet, so I’m doing the Art Therapy course next.  My poetry and art is also mostly a means for expressing my love of nature, including our amazing bodies and minds, and my sense of a wider spiritual connection.)

I revel in taking notice of nature with all its beauty, and accept that it can also seem cruel sometimes, but it all makes sense if you can step back and view the bigger picture, realise that all sides of the coin are necessary to enable existence of anything at all.  I enjoy even supposedly inanimate objects, such as stones, and feel that they are imbued with energy of some kind, there is energy in everything, which I can feel.  Even man made things contain signatures from those who made them, those who came in contact with them, and from any natural constituents, etc.  

There seems to me to be a current or life force running through everything, but it varies greatly depending on the state of each thing – stones seem to be slow and steady, for example, giving a sense of time, history, and patience. An object linked to a nasty incident, or place where something terrible happened, seems to bear a shocking imprint of that event. If you can stand calm in the face of this, you can glean information from it.  Trees seem to speak to me of their growth, water and wind of their travels, and the earth itself has a deep thrum of life giving energy.  Fire seems to represent passion but also the burning off of things no longer needed to make way for the new, a kind of rebirth.  I adore the sun, and enjoy arid desert territories, as well as beaches, but I also so love being in water, woods, or mountains so very much. Icy cold places do not appeal to me as I feel the cold badly, however there is a profound sense of purity in these landscapes, in a similar way to in deserts, or on high mountain planes – perhaps due to the open unspoilt space common to all of these. Open space is something I am lucky enough to have enjoyed many times in my life, and is the main thing I miss while living in England (plus I really do not enjoy the winters here).  I think that unspoilt open space feels so spiritual to me partly because of my appreciation of it as a kid, but also partly because it is a bit like the open space of the wider universe, which also feels like the open space in our mind we can attain through meditation.  It feels as if the far reaches could expand forever, that there is unlimited potential for life and consciousness.

So to me, this sense of spirituality feels far greater than any religion.  Religion seems to be possibly a small part of it for some people, but not for me.  If I had to choose a religion, it would be Buddhism, but it is entirely against my nature to try to fit into boxes.  To me this spirituality also includes any ideas of both evolution and creation, I think they are both part of one continuing cycle really. To me there is no either / or, everything is interlinked.  When I meditate, first my mind empties of little thoughts, then it opens up to this vast sense of beingness in an infinite universe, which seems to be just as much inside of me as all around me, swirling gently, reassuring me, and giving me access to incredible inspiration, healing energy, and knowledge.  As far as I can tell, a lot of humanity’s breakthroughs stem from this mystical inspiration, since many scientists, such as Einstein, have alluded to it.  (There is a great collection of mystical essays from great physicists collected by Ken Wilber about this.)

I don’t claim to understand how all this works, but my many experiences of using the energy, inspiration and knowledge in diverse situations speak for themselves.  Sometimes I can hardly believe it myself, but I can’t question the results.  It feels loving as well, but as to why, I’m not sure.  Perhaps it is simply that if it is all around me and inside of me, it basically is me, as well as you.  It must be life itself, the source of all.

Maybe for me it is also partly a sense of having come from out there somewhere, a sense of love for my other home.  Strangely I don’t feel a need to try to find out from where exactly, I just feel peaceful about it.  I am happy to have the opportunity to explore the wonders right here, and reflect my sense of spirituality through all my work.  Perhaps I am simply bearing some tiny witness to this extraordinary range of life and environments, and to the energy surrounding, suffusing, and sustaining it all.

Namaste

x

Advertisements

Perfectionism – positives and negatives.

Standard

Perfectionism can have both good and bad tendencies, both for the perfectionist him/herself and for those around them.  It is possible for others to learn from some of the things that might frustrate a perfectionist.  They are usually quite bright people who might have some great ideas about improving things, if you have a common perspective on a situation.

However, they can also be quite obsessive, and may need to be helped to look at things from a different perspective so that they reach a better understanding and let go of their obsession a little bit.  There are things that might be discussed logically to help put things in perspective, but remember that all people do not have the same kind of logic.  A perfectionist’s first principle might be that everything should be done right, but their idea of what is right, and why, may differ a lot from yours, or from the company’s.

If you are a manager, it might be pertinent to discuss priorities alongside logic and logistics, as there are always limits to what can be achieved within any given time, budget, staffing levels, etc.

If you are a perfectionist employee it might be very helpful if you were to ask for such explanations to help you see things in perspective and not become overwhelmed with trying to overdo things.

If a perfectionist strives for perfection in himself/herself – do they –

  • get depressed when they do not meet their own expectations?  
    Consider – Do they really expect to get everything right everywhere in any situation all the time (which is illogical), or are they just trying to do their best according to some inner set of standards or self-defined principles?  Do they perhaps not realise that these may not be applicable to others or for certain situations?  These could be good logical discussion points.

  • expect others to be perfect too?  Do they get annoyed by others and by situations which do not match their expectations?  Surely they must realise that people and situations differ?  Do they realise that others might be equally annoyed by them and their frustrating tendencies?

  • expect situations, such as jobs or relationships, to be perfect too?  Do they try to run from situations where they feel frustrated by not attaining expected standards, without realising that the same dilemma is just as likely to arise in any new job or relationship?

  • understand their goals?  Do they have a tendency to worry about details when there is actually no time to take care of such details, so there is a necessity to focus instead on the main things that really matter? [It might be helpful to make a list (a physical or at least a mental list) of what things do need to be focused on so that those take priority.  I would argue that the whole of life is like this – one might sacrifice housework goals for example in order to have time for studies or art or anything else one deems important, otherwise one might easily use up all one’s time on less important things, and never fulfil one’s higher desires.].  Goals are personal choices, but if you are in a partnership you should aim to at least understand each other’s priorities.

  • even know how to define perfection?  I mean surely the ideal of perfection is actually one of those unattainable absolutes really?  Surely getting things into proportion would help?

Perfectionists might really appreciate being given an understanding of how the business works so that they can see the reasoning behind decision making.  If they understand where a company, or indeed a partner in any type of relationship, is coming from, then they will be much more likely to make positive input in the most useful areas and learn to leave aside the little niggly things that are not deemed as relevant.

In this way they will feel they fit in better, and can be respected more for their contribution, instead of floundering around in a quagmire of miserable misconception.

I suspect that most perfectionists are really very good-intentioned.  I also doubt that any perfectionist really believes they are perfect!  I think that is a total myth, but I suppose I can see how others might think that of them.  I’m surprised that some people think that perfectionists don’t admit to faults – I think they definitely know when they have got something wrong, but they do tend to be quite upset about it until they get it into perspective.  Even they have to admit that mistakes do happen, and that is just part of life, all we can do is learn from it and move on.

I suspect that they are mostly good-hearted people trying to give of their best, but perhaps a bit confused about how best to do that.  If they can be helped to get things in balance, then they will feel better about themselves too.  Instead of illogically beating themselves up for not achieving the impossible, they can settle into a happier rhythm of doing the best they can – according to the circumstances, and become a better team player, or colleague; plus even an easier-to-love friend, partner, parent, etc.

If you are the kind of perfectionist who thinks that people will love you more if you are ‘perfect’, please think again.  You may well be alienating yourself by being obsessive, and you would be better off letting go a little and learning how to become more balanced.  That doesn’t mean you have to follow the crowd to try to fit in either, you can still be yourself, and achieve a lot, just try to get a reasonable perspective on things.  

Be kind to yourself, don’t expect so much of yourself that you drive yourself to exhaustion or become exasperated with yourself, be gentle and take care of yourself.  You will flourish much better if you allow yourself rest periods and healthy meals in-between your work and studies etc.  It always pays to ensure you take care of your physical and emotional health instead of just pushing yourself ever onwards, as in the end you achieve more, and can obtain more satisfaction from the results too. There is also a close correlation between caring about yourself and caring for others, again as long as it is not obsessive, those who care for others really should understand that they need to take care of themselves first in order to do so effectively.  In personal relationships as well as in business, if you care about yourself enough not to let others take advantage or push you around, and also avoid taking on too much yourself, then there is balance there to enable all to thrive in your work and relationships.

 


healingthetears4bPlus


What is your personal idea of perfection, in life, in art, in a book,
in a moment, in your mind, 
in your heart?


hugepurplepoppy1framedplus


perfection is subjective

Photo1864crop

nature is never subjective, only our ideas of nature are

heartkiss150

….. sending electronic kisses across the world …..

xx

Kiss the World

Standard

Photo0586

 

A Song I just wrote….

 

Get out of your shell and go kiss the world

there’s more than enough to see and learn.

Though some of it’s tough, there’s also love!

 

Your soul, your mind, and your body can burn

with the natural fire and delight of life

if you open your heart from where it’s curled up tight.

 

So open your eyes to this amazing world.

You are the one – who asked to come

so don’t keep your soul-self hidden any more.

 

Don’t waste your chance to experience

and expand your consciousness

through all the tools that you are given here.

 

Come out of your shell, and dance at last!

You’ll find so much you’ll want to explore –

so be bold enough – to kiss the world after all.

 

*************************************************

 

These lyrics will appear in a book I am preparing for publication right now.
It’s called “A little book of ‘Mastery'”, and details will appear on my book blog,
once it is done – so I’d really appreciate it if you could follow it –
https://noparadoxblog.wordpress.com/

 

Thanks!
heartlogomar4

 

New Book is out – please take a look at the blog about it

Standard

New Book is out – please take a look at the blog about it =

https://noparadoxblog.wordpress.com/

or of course you could go directly to Amazon from here if you’d like to order it =

on Amazon (UK), and Amazon (USA) –

or on Kindle (UK) – or Kindle USA –

Its 200 pages with b&w interior but includes graphics.

BookCoverPreview