New Create Health blog in progress here – which I hope you will follow please!
What do you really want of me? Some people seem to think they need to fulfil certain criteria for their partners, but really the answer is “I want you to just be you – the one I love.”
We don’t need to make decisions about our own lives based on what we think others want. Even if we think we know what they want, we are probably wrong!
Yes, obviously you do make decisions together about things that affect the workings of your life – logistic things – like when to have supper and what you might like to have, how to approach getting DIY tasks done, where to meet after work.
And these things certainly apply to jobs – how to work as a team to meet the objectives.
But they don’t apply to your personal choices about who you are being deep down, what you are interested in, how you behave in the world, what your lessons in life might be, what you want to learn, and do.
No one person should be influencing another to be other than themselves – this is not really love – unless they simply do not understand the implications of what they are doing, and would be willing to try to understand this in order to consider doing things differently. (Note that I said “consider” – if they do not wish to give you the freedom to be yourself even when they do understand the implications then this shows that they do not truly cherish you for who you really are, and may prefer to control you, or try to make you into someone to fit their needs.)
We should not have expectations of others, other than to be themselves, and try to make reasonable efforts to get on with each other and with things that need doing so that you can function as a couple or team. These things merely require the willingness to: communicate, compromise to reach joint decisions about practical things, and to actually get on and do your share. They have nothing whatsoever to do with trying to control or change who a person is.
If you want to try to change another to fit your needs, then you should look at why you think you have such needs. The idea of love is simply to give love and be loved in return. You love just as you are and just as they are, otherwise it is not love in the first place – it is merely some idea that you quite like someone and if you can just mould them to fit your needs they will do – but this can never work, not even if you are desperate!
We also have to understand that people are affected by circumstance, and make allowances for this – they may grow past it or not, but that does not mean we love them any more or less. Hopefully pure love will get you both through, but it is difficult if you don’t communicate. You have to not be afraid of talking – trust that the other will want to listen and at least try to understand. But it is not our job to try to ‘fix’ another, just to be there for each other. So as long as you can communicate enough to share your love, so that you do have some joy in your life together, you should be fine.
Perhaps part of cherishing is also being grateful for what you do have. Try to remember all the good things if you are in any doubt.
We should look at the good things in life in general as well, in order to cherish life itself.
Come visit our CHERISH board on Pinterest at https://www.pinterest.com/woodmanjulia/cherish/
candidates for the european parliament who support end ecocide, listed by country – http://www.endecocide.eu/blog/
– there are 4 listed MEPs in UK, all in the green party
As a healer, meditation teacher, and writer I thought I had better put my skills together
and write a brief guide on how to do this for the members of our “Back to The Garden”
facebook group specifically, but also to share more widely.
You help global consciousness, and at the same time help yourself feel great – by doing this.
Effective Strategies to help you Cope if things have got Tough, and also
to help you re-engage Joyfully with life and make Practical Plans for further
Goals. This is especially slanted to suit mums, but is helpful for anybody.
by Julia Woodman – Life Coach, Counsellor, Stress Consultant, and Writer
How about keeping a special book to write down lists, notes, responses and observations as
you go along. This is a special record of things you will want to know where to find and refer
back to easily from time to time.
If you are setting out on this journey with young children, then use a large scrapbook for them
as well. Encourage them to explore the world around them and draw and stick things into their
scrapbook as they go.
Make the best of what you have. List all the good things about and around you, and focus
on appreciating them by referring to your list every day. This should include :
• Things about yourself (assets, skills, attributes – for example, you might have child care skills,
be a good cook, a loyal partner, have beautiful hair, strong arms, be friendly, have a great sense
of humour, good health, good home, job that fits around family so that you can be there for them,
considerate, helpful, creative)
• Things about your friends and family etc – listing each person separately is probably best
(very similar to above, including things like: loving partner you can communicate well
with, great children, sensible teenager, friends you can chat at ease with, parent you can
ask for help, practical brother, understanding boss, etc.)
• Things about your surroundings ( beautiful hills and valleys you can walk in, rivers to fish
or swim in, amazing flowers or butterflies you can look at or smell or draw or photograph,
places to go out and listen to music and dance, gym, martial arts or yoga etc classes,
seaside for watersports, swimming pool, good school, other kids that your kids can
spend time with, good weather for growing your crops or veg etc, access to good health
support, libraries, college, jobs, etc.)
You can also refer back to this list to make sure you remember to make use of
the good stuff – for example, keep a diary perhaps to just take note of inspiring
things at any time, and to draw in or write poems in about the beautiful things
in any wild spaces you visit.
You might like to cook a special meal for your partner or family or even just for yourself,
find ways to ensure that you keep up with your friends (even if just via the internet if they
are far away), find fun ways to keep fit, set aside time for good movies or comedy shows
or music events, access resources and knowledge available, play games with your friends
and family, etc. Remember to give praise to partners and children when you can.
When taking walks or going on trips with your children it is great to point out how things
work along the way, and show them the beautiful details in nature, encourage them to
draw or write about it, or stick things in their scrapbooks, such as leaflets about where
you have been. You could help them draw a flower or leaf, and then press it between the
pages of a heavy book in greaseproof paper (which keeps it more vibrant than tissue paper).
Then later on when it has dried you can compare it to the drawing, maybe even
stick it into the scrapbook next to the drawing.
“Beauty is alive in every moment, riding the breath of life
Young children can understand a lot more than we tend to think, and it is crucial to keep
their curiosity, sense of wonder, and thirst for knowledge alive. You too can enjoy their
delight if you help them for example by using illustrated information books. It is
wonderful if you can put on a little act and exclaim with delight or awe at some of the
Effective communication is vital, whether it be at work, or with family, children, or
friends. Be prepared to ensure that you have your fair say in a respectful way. Again, it
is good to write things down in preparation so that you are clear about what the most
important one or two things you want to discuss are, and don’t muddy the waters with all
sorts of vague bits and pieces. I do have more detailed articles and videos about
communication available via my website www.radiance-solutions.co.uk
Let go of small things that niggle at you by concentrating on being grateful for the good
things. What does the other stuff matter by comparison? We all know that no one is
perfect, so let’s stop expecting them to be. If you give praise for the good stuff it will
make everybody (including yourself) feel more willing to try to be their best.
List the knowledge and skills that you already have, and appreciate those too.
These are the building blocks of your life. No thing is too small, so put them all down.
If you are lacking in confidence then use affirmations to help build this up.
There are also some of these available via my website.
You can also learn to write your own – they must always be written in the present tense.
A wonderful affirmation that helps balance your mind, body, and spirit because it aligns
you with the earth and the universe (both of which crucially allow and support life) is to
simply say “I love, and I am loved”. You need to be comfortable, take a few deep
breaths to relax and focus, and then say this aloud and feel that it is true. Your
relationship with the universe and with the earth is fundamental to who you are. Be at
ease with yourself, and let the energy flow up and down your spine as you stand upon the
earth, holding your head steady, repeating this until you know that it is true.
When we are balanced, it is easy for others to love us, because we hold a steadiness in
our hearts and do not react to trivial things. You are regaining your connection with the
deep self and the real world beneath all the crazy stuff and meaningless rules we have
piled on it. Breathe deeply and feel yourself to be more free.
As you progress through all these ideas here and in some of my other materials, you will
find that your confidence increases quite naturally. You have to know that you are
worth it. Everyone has an equal right to live their lives as they choose because each one
of us is a vital part of the overall diversity of life and consciousness. You are a unique
human being come to experience life on this planet so you should aim to learn from
everything, even what we would normally term as negative because the most challenging
things usually have the most potential to teach us stuff. Even illness can be viewed as the
body trying to show us that it needs attention, so once you start listening to that and doing
something about it, you are taking the positive steps you need to. It is your life, and you
have the power to choose to make it good for you. You should not be afraid to follow your
heart and fulfil your dreams, don’t listen to people who tell you otherwise, or to any
niggling doubts in your ego mind.
Our minds can be used as tools to help us help ourselves, instead of allowing
ourselves to be subjected to some of the silly thoughts, fears, and worries that tend to go
round in our heads if we let them. Stop listening to that sort of negative stuff and focus on
the positive. Think about it – worry is a total waste of energy because it does not achieve
anything productive. All it does is show us that perhaps we need to take care to prepare
for whatever it is we are worrying about or fearing, so that we can face it instead of letting
it knock us down. Fear stands for False Evidence Appearing Real – usually if we just
get on and do what we are afraid of, then we find it is all fine after all – so we need to learn
to stop our minds getting in the way, and use them instead to help us move forwards.
By making these lists of all the good stuff, we can then remind ourselves of things to
inspire and motivate us. We can say “AHHHH YES I CAN DO THIS. Look – I already
have some of the skills, and I can learn the rest, and find out what I need to know and do
to be successful.” You can learn to follow your heart to be who you truly want to be.
If you feel stressed or depressed, then look for my articles that can help with such
issues, which are again available on my website www.radiance-solutions.co.uk
There is a full Stress Busting guide available too. Don’t let these things steal your power,
learn how to deal with them! I also have some simple visualizations to help you relax, but
meditation is even more powerful, so if you are prepared to put in the work, go for my
full meditation guide, and you should be well rewarded for your efforts. Meditation takes
you into a sense of bliss that arises from a combination of personal and universal power.
Promise yourself that you are going to stop beating yourself up about anything –
you are doing the best you can for the moment, and as you find out how best to move forward,
you will continue to be doing the best that you can in each moment. Of course, as you
learn and plan and achieve, that best will be better than it was before, and you can
congratulate yourself for every step that you take. Meantime just do not expect too much
from yourself, we can only do what we can, given the tools we have in each moment.
Don’t judge yourself (or others) – each moment is only one step on our journey. Even
if you take a step backwards, don’t waste time and energy on berating yourself for that, just
get back on the track.
Everyone needs a bit of space to themselves once in a while, so ensure that you
do get this, and don’t let anyone else make you feel that you can’t take it – we need to rest
and renew ourselves, recharge our energy. We all have different ways of doing this, so
plan for it as part of your life, just don’t overdo it – there is a big difference between taking
time out now and again to do something inspiring, and withdrawing or retreating from
things. It should be time to do something positive for yourself….. yes if you need to sleep,
then sleep, but ideally you could meditate or read or write or draw or play music, go for a
walk, visit a friend, or do anything you love.
Meditation is fantastic for regaining and strengthening our deeper sense of self.
It can also be used as a tool to train our minds to do what we want instead of getting in our way.
Plan lists of anything else you want to learn or achieve – You can come back to this
later, it is just to get your thoughts clear for now Don’t just think about work, think about
hobbies, enjoyment etc too, anything that might help you (and your partners, and
children, if you have them) have more fun. Obviously sometimes you may need to do
things on your own, but this can be planned for – if you really want to do it, make sure
you put it on your list, don’t leave anything off or limit yourself just because your logical
mind says it isn’t practical!
Writing all these things down helps to give them more potential. If you faithfully
make your lists as suggested, then you will find it useful to refer back to them to remind
yourself of your thoughts and renew your positive motivation. Another main factor about
writing all these things down is that it clarifies your intentions, which helps you focus on
what you want. If our minds are less muddled then we are simply much more likely to
follow what we have set down, so this focus removes the muddle and sets you on track.
We can go a stage further and use life coaching charts to actually make step by step
plans of how we are going to get from point A to B. These are different from the
lists above, because these exercises here are looking at your whole life really, whereas in
life coaching plans you need to focus on one or two specific areas – for example how to get
to do what you want at college, how to plan to move country, how to give up a bad habit,
how to save or pay off debts, how to get fit or lose weight, how to basically achieve any
goal we choose to.
We make the steps along the way realistic and achievable alongside time frames that
again are realistic and achievable. We also add in details like who is going to help or
support you where help is needed, for example you may need a child-minder so that you
can attend college, or you might just need to be able to phone someone up for moral
support if you are feeling tired and demoralised. Or you might just be able to refer back
to your book where you have written your list of reasons for doing this in the first place
to regain your sense of motivation. In any case, your plan will also include rewards for
achievement along the way to help keep up your motivation. We need to bear in mind
that any cycle of change is bound to have slight setbacks once in a while as it is normal to
feel very motivated to start with then run out of steam a bit if things get tough, but the
thing is just to get back on up and on with it again as soon as you are ready, and not waste
time and energy regretting the setback. If we are prepared well enough, then we will
have the support in place to help us get back on track. I have life coaching charts
available on www.radiance-solutions.co.uk/essenceguides3.htm so that you can use them
yourself if you wish to.
If you want to find something to do and you are not sure what that is yet, then I do also
have a system included in my Life Coaching packages to help you tap your
subconscious to identify what you most want. This might help mums returning to
work or mothers whose children have left home, for example, to decide what sort of a career
or business they might want to go for, or define what hobbies or college course might suit
someone. Again, this is on my website www.radiance-solutions.co.uk/essenceguides3.htm
I also love to help Young People and have specific materials available about communication
with them, and helping them to make the transition into adulthood.
I have other guides such as ‘Confirming your Joy’, as well as the Meditation and Stress Busting
ones, all available via www.radiance-solutions.co.uk/essenceguides.htm There are ones
related to Creativity, and Spirituality, and Evolving Consciousness as well.
Creativity is not just about the generally recognised arts, it includes all sorts of
things, like cooking, sewing, woodwork, gardening, flower arranging, decorating, you name it,
we all have some creativity in us. Creativity is also often an outcome of curiosity, which
children usually have in abundance, so looking at things around you can naturally lead on to
creating something in relation to that.
Creativity helps you express yourself, and your appreciation of life. Both of those
help add to your sense of confidence and satisfaction because you are interacting more
with the world around you through your creativity, which also involves a deep level of
noticing details. So I always advocate that people watch other people, animals, plants,
anything at all, and really note the finer details of behaviour, natural beauty, and the
amazing diversity of life, the interaction between things, and also how things function so
incredibly well – including our own bodies. It is equally inspiring to know that even if
we may not function that well all the time, we can always do something about helping
ourselves return to our optimum state.
More details of the HELPFUL LIFE COACHING TOOLS
available hereThere are some specific pointers in there that will be helpful to Mums returning to
work, plus an example form called “Improving Belief in Self as Parent and as having
Valuable Skills & a Right to a Career of Own Choosing”.Life Coaching Pack of All 3 Achievable Goal Planning Sections
How to Maximise Success, Help to Decide, and all FORMS £6.50
(which gives a saving of 50p on buying them separately as detailed below).
[The sections are also available separately so that people who don’t need the “help to
decide” section can save by just buying the other two. And sometimes people just want
the “help to decide” section and then take it from there themselves because they might
already know about life coaching, but that is a unique extra developed by me. Or people
might just want to use my forms and look at my examples, although I do obviously
recommend looking at the 2nd section too, as there is so much useful information in it.]
Life Coaching 1 How to HELP yourself DECIDE WHAT you really want to do £1.50Help with deciding on your goals in the first place. It’s best to get really clear before you
begin the planning stage so that you don’t waste time and effort.
For example, you could be trying to decide which course to study, what to do as a career
(or change of career), or for a hobby etc, but you can also apply it to any decision you
are not sure about (like moving home, ending a relationships, travelling etc).
We do sometimes subconsciously block our own progress, particularly if we are not sure
what we want, or if we don’t have enough self esteem or confidence in ourselves.
Life Coaching 2 HOW TO develop achievable Goal Plans, and put realistic
Includes details of what to think about before starting your plan.
Life Coaching 3 Goal Setting FORMS £3
Includes blank form for your use, plus a tutor form with guidelines on,
Examples include: 1) paying off debts, 2) losing weight and getting fit alongside study
I really hope that this has been helpful, and that anyone interested in planning to achieve
goals will take the next step and get the life coaching packs, but please do also feel
free to phone or email with any questions, or if you would like further support.
Whatever choices you make
In response to a blog about young people self harming despite
their parents trying to do everything right, and questioning if
there is too much stress with lots of homework and other things
they have to do, another person wrote that young people these days
seem to be given things on a plate and organised too much. I made
a further response to this:
Most people I know of my generation did have very bad things going
on when they were kids, but somehow we were tough enough to deal
with them, although they do still affect us, obviously. We never expected
to be given things on a plate, we were brought up to think for ourselves,
and to be versatile, and figure out our own ways of coping.
Yes, children now are often organised so much to fit into a system but it is becoming
obvious that there are things wrong with that system, so perhaps we should be helping
our young people become more able to cope with challenges and changes instead of
channelling them into specialised paths quite so much.
By the way, we had 2hrs of homework every day right through high school because I
was boarding, there was no choice but to go to the homework period between supper
and lights out not to say that I actually DID homework though I mostly wrote poetry!
I used to swim 50 olympic lengths before school and before dinner every day, and do
long distance running but it was all very definitely MY choice to do these things. I
think I still had some time to muck about with my friends, but I only got to see my
parents one weekend a month from age 11. When I was home, I used to wander about in
the wilderness most of the time though, so it must have been when I was very young that
the free thinking and versatility stuff was instilled in me unless I was just born that way.
There is a lot more that I wanted to say though :
We know that giving kids things on a plate tends to make them self-centred, and less able
to cope, yet this still happens. ‘Love’ so often then becomes a sort of ‘cupboard love’
which depends on the visiting relative or friends giving gifts or providing really fun days
out, so it also teaches them to be devious! This can especially apply when couples have
separated the children can soon learn how to get things from each parent by turning it
into a sort of competition if you aren’t careful. If one parent, or a friend, decides not to
play this game they can find themselves ‘dropped’ just like that.
And yes, children are organised so much to fit into the system study hard, get a job,
get a mortgage, have a family, accumulate things, and continue the cycle into the next
generation. Do we ever question whether there could be another way of not being
slaves to the ‘system’, which we can easily see has its problems if we stop long enough to
think. So many people are not really thinking though, because in their limited spare time
they seem to be sucked into the TV, which tells you a carefully concocted version of
reality that’s very different from the real thing (newspapers too), or the pub where they
can numb their thinking with drink and superficial conversation, or more business deals.
I suspect that some of our young people are having trouble understanding why we go on
round and round in these meaningless circles, and this could be a source of much
emotional distress. When I was a teenager my poems were all about the terrible things
humanity was doing to our natural world, and I know for sure that a lot of our youngsters
are very concerned about these sorts of issues. Even those who have an outlet for their
feelings such as writing poetry or writing and playing music, still struggle with the huge
chasm between their understanding, and the world where people seem to be switched off,
just working and drinking and acting as if the most important thing on earth was to be
rich enough to both socialise and compete with people who have the same priorities.
Basically the system gives the message that if you comply you will be given some of the
‘sweets’, just the same as spoilt kids – and once you start going down that road it is very
hard to turn back, so you end up turning a blind eye, and doing all sorts of compromising
things to ensure the sweets keep coming – particularly if you have now got a partner and
kids to answer to if the supply stops. Have you asked them though, what they really
think, do you actually know?
Not everyone wants to be like that. Many young people are much more grown up and
aware than that. If we don’t encourage our young people to think for themselves,
seek alternatives, or at least let them know that we accept their need to do so, then
they are going to feel very trapped, and also probably worried about disappointing us.
Those benefiting from our current systems are not our young people at all unless of
course they really are brainwashed enough to want to be the next big business magnet.
Our system perpetuates specialism rather than versatility, which means that you then tend
to rely on others to provide the services and things you cannot do or produce yourself,
and thus are relying on the continuing system whether we like it or not. We tend to be left
thinking that we can’t break out of it, but this isn’t really true at all. In fact, once the oil
runs out, we will probably have to survive at more of a local level anyway, so we need to
all be learning to be more versatile really.
However, if we went off now and did our own thing, or local community thing, then the
big boys of the banking and business world, and the governments, wouldn’t be making
money out of us; so they are constantly seeking more ways to shackle us and herd us
They want to keep us deeply entrenched, with our mortgages and other debts, and our
taxes and other commitments. But they also keep quietly adding more rules, regulations,
restrictions, and requirements to tighten the hold – to be able to take more from us, and to
stop us from doing much for ourselves. Many of these threaten our freedom and health.
They also want to keep us blindfolded, concealing the truth about just how incredibly
awful they have been in their manipulation of events in their attempts to grab everything
they value, and control the world, because of course they are afraid of retribution.
However, most people, and organisations, who are awake to what has been going on are
quite spiritually mature, and are more interested in putting things right than in retribution
or revenge. We just want to see everybody in with a fair chance of survival – with our
freedom and health intact. We want to find sustainable ways of living, helping each other
and yet continuing to be our unique selves, and continuing to evolve consciously into a
species capable of living in harmony.
So let’s re-assure our young people that we are prepared to go for this, or at least enable
them to do so. Let’s talk about it in families – there should be no taboos. Let’s give them
something to identify with, hope for, and help carry through. It’s not the first time that
we will be making some big changes, as history will show, so they had better believe that
we are capable of it. There is already so much good stuff going on that they should take
heart from that too – thankfully the internet has proved to be an amazing tool for sourcing
information and co-ordinating efforts. Let’s do this – let’s pull this team together now.
We are building links to useful sources of information & inspiration,
and co ordinating global meditation linkups for positive input into the collective
consciousness – the compost bed from which our new garden will grow.
I suddenly started looking up John Lennon quotes on Goodreads the other day – which helped inspire me to write this article. I didn’t know then that it was the anniversary of his tragic death – I only found that out a day later when I started seeing posts on Facebook that made it obvious that a lot of my friends had also been looking him up and replaying his music. I don’t think it was just a co-incidence that I made that connection, I do think that his spirit is still very much with us in our attempts to find better ways of being at peace with ourselves, and living more in harmony with the planet.
As I co-administrate a Facebook open group called ‘Back to The Garden’ some of his quotes were particularly relevant – such as “I’m not really a career person; I’m a gardener, basically.” Also, “The thing the sixties did was to show us the possibilities and the responsibility that we all had. It wasn’t the answer. It just gave us a glimpse of the possibility.” Our group is already named ‘Back to The Garden’ because of the 60s song ‘Woodstock’ which says “We are stardust, we are golden, and we’ve got to get ourselves back to the garden”. Our aim is to share information to help us try to live sustainable lives by creating supportive local communities, and to participate in global meditation link-ups to help influence the collective consciousness towards achieving this. We also share creative inspiration to help express our ideas.
So, back to my original article – which basically shows why I think John Lennon is such a great example to us all – of how to truly be ourselves.
John Lennon was such a thoroughly REAL person. His quotes reflect all sides of human nature, from the sad and withdrawn, to the desperately painful, to the angry, to the loving and celebratory, and from the arrogant to the humble, as well as from the serious to the exuberant humour-filled sheer absolutes of expression. We all have many sides to our nature but we tend to try to pretend that we don’t, mostly because we are afraid to show some of it. Does society make us think that if we remain on a bland even-keel we are more agreeable to others? Surely we are more interesting if we share what we truly feel? It’s perfectly possible to be honest without being horrid. Why can’t we just accept all of it and be this real? Okay, we don’t all need to be huge public characters, but we can be quietly firm about who and how we choose to be.
Another quote of John Lennon’s which is staggeringly beautiful in its stark honesty is “When you’re drowning, you don’t think I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I’m drowning and come and rescue me. You just scream.”
If you are facing a period of ‘depression’, why not allow that to simply be for a while? I generally have 3 days of it every now and again. I learned from a very early age to manage it. You could say it was artistic temperament, but it isn’t just that – we all have natural cycles energetically and physically, which affect us emotionally, and I believe we are better off listening to these than trying to deny them. (Of course, you should look after yourself with good nutrition, exercise, and the right amount of sleep, because imbalance in these areas can exacerbate or oven trigger such periods.) I give myself permission to let it happen and actually explore it – I write or paint myself through it. I don’t do anything I don’t want to – I just live with it. Okay, so I don’t usually publish what I’ve written at such times – but I do learn from it – and I am well aware that I am processing emotion, dealing with it – not trying to suppress it. I know that after the 3 days it will go again because I have given it the space to play through. Often, I make positive changes in my life after these stages – so they are like transition phases. I seem to gather strength and insight from actually allowing them to really work through, and somehow grow from the experience. Perhaps by allowing the darker side its space, I then get recompense by gaining access to more of the light, because sometimes it is straight after one of these periods that I produce my best work. Maybe if we looked at it as if we are like snakes shedding skins so that we have room to grow some more, we could learn to process these phases naturally, we could all deal with them. Maybe they wouldn’t hang around then – we could trust ourselves to get through them – not let them overwhelm us, or leave us stuck half in half out – we could go into them fully and come out the other side. I think it is healthy to allow one’s self to honestly explore all sides of your nature, as that is probably the only way you can truly get to know and trust yourself. I think that is why I love John Lennon so much – he trusted himself to be real – and he told the truth.
Art of any form – music, writing, painting, are the most obvious ones, but there are many more, (and we don’t have to be ‘artistic’ to express ourselves, you could just write letters you may never post, or notes to yourself) – any of this helps us to truly face the world and explore it and the human psyche. We may begin with ambivalence, but we soon become fearless if we explore thoroughly enough. We become powerful in ourselves because we are learning to understand ourselves. We can’t ever really hope to understand everything around us, but we can learn to understand ourselves in relation to anything else. If we know what we stand for and how we feel about things – then that never changes no matter what else changes around you – you become like a rock, yet at the same time feel floatingly free. (Of course if you do learn from new information and experiences or learn to respond differently to situations, your outlook does evolve, but you are still the floating rock that is you growing as part of the conscious universe).
You know we need variety in life to make it interesting. There has to be variety to even enable us to exist as individuals. So you stop blocking it off – you accept your curiosity and begin to explore, and the more you do this, the more you tend to then celebrate and appreciate the variety. You also accept your vulnerability, yet at the same time feel incredibly strong because you have opened fully to life. Life feels magical – even in its madness and confusion – it is staggeringly intoxicating.
So let’s grasp the bull by the horns and dare to be real – you’ll be amazed how great it will feel…. Not to be sucked in any more, not be afraid any more. You will feel powerful, filled with energy, draw yourselves up, and take control of who you want to be.
Neale Donald Walsch said “You are all in the process of defining yourselves. Every act is an act of self definition.“
Ralph Waldo Emerson said “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
And Shakespeare said “To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”
John Lennon also said “There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”
But wait a minute, just as with Lennon (and many others) – those in power don’t want us to be real do they? They want us to go on consuming their goods (with poisons in them), and watching TV (with all the pap they’d like us to believe). They want us to feel powerless so that they can continue to lead us blindly into wars and other money making schemes, and so that we accept their laws and judgements, instead of questioning them or standing up for ourselves and our rights. If we are real then we become a threat to them, and they feel a need to deal with us – exactly, you got it – but now there are too many of us, and things are going to have to change. If we stop listening to them, if we stop using their systems, and simply walk away – that is all that is needed.
Then we will look after each other at community level – ensure we are can access healthy food, work together at projects that sustain us – not them – keep things local – it makes much more sense. Trade our skills, make things that last, that don’t waste raw materials and fuel, things that are truly useful – not junk to make profit out of others. We can take back everything they have been trying to take away from us completely, bit by bit, over centuries, sneakily.
Marianne Williamson said “Do you really not know what to do? Or do you just lack the courage to do it?”
Ghandi said “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
Van Morrison said “You can’t stop us on the road to freedom, you can’t keep us ‘cause our eyes can see.”
And John Lennon said “You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope some day you’ll join us, and the world will live as one.”
Another thing John Lennon taught us was never to be sucked into trying to fight those trying to exert power over us at their own game. He said “If you want peace, you won’t get it with violence.” And “There’s no separation. We’re all one. Give peace a chance, not shoot people for peace. All you need is love. I believe it. It’s damn hard, but I absolutely believe it.”
So don’t allow yourself to be diverted – firstly it infects you with their level of thinking, secondly it takes your power away. Save your power for doing the good stuff, dismiss the rest as insignificant. As long as you remain complete in who you want to be, you will keep your absolute power. The minute you slip into something else – you lose some of it to them. Don’t give it away, keep you power quietly to yourself, and you will always be free, they cannot defeat you. No matter what they do, your power remains yours – they do not get a jot of it. Look at how we remember the great people like John Lennon – that’s because they never lost anything at all. He has become untouchable, and yet we can all touch him and his dreams, and help make them as real as he believed they could be. He said “A dream you dream alone is only a dream, a dream you dream together is reality.” And “Peace is not something you wish for; It’s something you make, Something you do, Something you are…..”
More notes regarding depression.
Cognitive Dissonance might arise when you begin to realise there are things wrong in the world but can’t see the whole picture so your bits don’t fit or make sense, or you might be disappointed by the difference between your expectations and what has happened, or of people. As Lennon said “The more real you get the more unreal the world gets.”
So you need to re-adjust. Surely allowing ourselves the time to do this rather than try to fight it is actually healthy? Look closely at how you are feeling and thinking. Express how you feel through safe means – artistically, or by speaking to a friend, therapist, or to an inanimate object or imaginary person, or by writing letters or notes. Even ask rhetorical questions, or ask for what you want to happen – it helps you clarify things and you might even find answers. Recognise your autonomy – you can seek clarification in your understanding, or you can actually just choose to change the way you want to feel or do things. Medication obviously is useful in that it can give you the break to rest and steady yourself, before beginning to explore what is happening. If you view it as a tool to get back up a few steps, not as an excuse to just lie down at the bottom – then it is a positive and empowering act rather than something you are succumbing to. You should ideally always have a plan with your doctor to ensure that you are helped to withdraw carefully and gradually as you take back your power. You do sometimes need to be firm with your doctor about this, take responsibility for your own best interests, but never try to do it completely on your own.
Khalil Gibran wrote that “Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.”
Plug into the umbilical cord of power through meditation and recharge yourself. Connect with the beautiful energy of the planet too. You are a rock between the earth and the reeling stars. Stand there feeling it deeply. Reach out your arms, dance if you want to, swim in the moonlight, sing or shout. Feel the processes in yourself re-adjusting, and renewing – and you will emerge with magic keys – re-enter life in the next stage of growing.
Remember your connection with the harmonics of the universe. You are one aspect of the one life force, manifested as human consciousness – everything else is a distraction. Focus on your relationship with the life force and yourself – who you are being – how you want to be. Other worries often pale into insignificance when you look at the bigger picture. You begin to realise that none of that small stuff can stop you from choosing exactly who you want to be. When you appreciate the astonishing variety of life around you, you tend to just find it easier to allow other things and people to just be as they are. Reasoning doesn’t matter so much anymore, even forgiving doesn’t matter much anymore – because you see that there is no need, you just let go of the small stuff and walk on deep into the wonder of being fully alive.
As John Lennon said: “Limitless undying love – which shines around me like a million suns – it calls me on and on across the universe.”
He left us a great legacy – an example to follow – and the power of his honest to goodness words, actions, and amazing creativity lives with us still.
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One of the books I am writing now will also be called Back to The Garden – so by joining in and sharing information and ideas, you may have some influence on this. The group also practices subtle activism – a type of distance meditation (at regular allotted times so that many of us together make more of a difference) to plant positive thought seeds into the collective consciousness.