Practicing tenderness and massage

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Showing tenderness in a relationship keeps reminding us of the positive love in the world as a whole and in our hearts.
There are exercises in my spiritual sex guide (available on our guides page) to help bring couples very close so that they can share an absolutely pure relationship. They are based on open communication, which can only be done with truly opened hearts.
Massage is a wonderful tool for two people who wish to learn to trust each other at a very deep level, and to deepen each other’s faith in their partner’s love for them. Partners need to respect each other’s feelings and boundaries or limits, as well as their bodies, so you also need to talk openly and listen fully. Massage also enables you to process the toxins of trapped emotions, and start fresh.

Some Essential Oils that can be mixed with Base Oils for Massage:

A great base or carrier oil is Jojoba, which is good for nourishing the skin. You can also use Sweet Almond, which is non-irritating, and softens the skin. Some others are Evening Primrose, Grapeseed (which is light, penetrating, and virtually odourless), Macadamia (which tones dry skin), and Wheatgerm (which is beneficial for tired muscles and revitalizing dry and aging skin).
For massage purposes, blend 4 to 5 drops of an essential oil with 10ml of carrier oil, but use less for the elderly or children (2 to 3 drops). Test for allergies first. You can also add a few drops to your bath water for an aromatic relaxing bath.

• Bergamot – is floral, fruity and sweet citrus. It is uplifting and good for increasing self confidence.
• Jasmine – Sweet and floral. Uplifting, warming, and good for instilling optimism.
• Neroli – Warm, floral and good for calming restlessness, shock, or anxiety.
• Patchouli – Rich, sweet, and great for grounding and stabilising.
• Tea Tree – Woody, camphorous, and Spiritually Cleansing.
• Ylang Ylang – Floral, exotic, uplifting, and good for soothing and inhibiting anger.
• Camphor – Sharp, menthol. An aphrodisiac and Muscle relaxant. Good for clearing sinuses if you don’t like any of those other sort of smells.
• Marjoram – Warm and sweet. Helpful for muscle fatigue.
• Orange (Blood) – Fresh berries. Reduces tension & anxiety, and inspires concentration.
• Palmarosa – Grassy, lemony, and rejuvenating. Good for skin care.
• Basil – Warm and spicy. Good for refreshing and toning skin.
• Cedarwood – Soft, sweet, relaxing and harmonizing. Good for meditation.
• Chamomile – Bright, crisp, sweet, fruity. Calming & Relaxing.
• Clary Sage – Sweet, warm, nutty. Relaxing & Uplifting.
• Cypress – Gives strength in difficult situations.
• Eucalyptus – Refreshing, cool, invigorating.
• Frankincense – Woody & calming. Helps soothe nervous tension.
• Juniper – Crisp & clean. Good for the atmosphere of a room and meditation.
• Lavender – Floral & Green. Relaxing, relieves nervous tension.
• Lemon – Fresh & sweet citrus. Helps calm irritability.
• Peppermint – Cool, invigorating. Relieves tiredness & increases concentration.
• Rosemary – Spicy. Good for memory and concentration.
• Sandalwood – Sweet, warm, sensual and relaxing. Excellent for meditation.
• Benzoin – warm, soothing, and eases tired muscles.
• Citronella – Powerful lemony aroma. Good for oily skin and insect repellant.
• Clover leaf – Hot, penetrating, spicy. Strengthens mind & memory.
• Geranium – Sweet rose & citrus. Uplifting & stabilising.
• Litsea – Uplifting, stimulating, and ideal for tired muscles or greasy skin.
• Mandarin – soft, warm, and gentle. Helps overcome restlessness.
• Myrtle – Spicy, camphor-like aroma. Clarifying & cleansing.

Tenderness (a song)

D G
Hold me, stroke me, / touch me tender
D G lo A
Like no other / sun gave me its / light

D G hi A
Like no other / sta-ars kissed my / eyes
D G lo D A lo
Like no other / pla- a- a-nets / spun inside my / head

D G lo A
Like no other / wi-ind blew its / breath
D G hi D A
Like no other / water sang its / so-o-ong / before

D G lo D A
Like no other / earth ; cradled / me-ee in its / arms
D G lo hi A hi
Like no other / tree ; held me to its / heart

hi D G hi D A
Like no other / bi–ird gave to / me its wings / before
D G lo A
Like no other / kitten shared its / licks
D G lo A
Like no other / cloud gave me its / lips
D G hi D A
Like no other / moon laid its ca / ress upon my / skin
D G lo A
Like no other / grass has shared its / dreams
D G lo A lo
Like no other / leaves have ever / li-ist-ened

hi D G hi D A
Like no other / flo-ow-ers showed / me-ee their / co-o-lours
D G lo A
Like no other / God showed me his / love
D G lo A D
Like no other / God showed me his / lo-o- / ove

trnderness

Here are a couple of pieces from my book of prose poems – SPAN –

FLY

Delicate, butterfly winged, we vainly push against the sky, each trying to find our place. Yes, we are going to die, let’s not beat about the bush. Maybe today, maybe tomorrow. Maybe many years from now. Meanwhile, we have someone who loves us, someone to love. Surely there is no need to hesitate.

OBSERVATION

So, we may not be able to explain the world. Not exactly. But we CAN accept it, and love it. We CAN turn our faces to the light and examine the minutest details simply for the sake of it. We CAN live lives of joy and purpose. We are all part of one whole. Take comfort in this: Almost every one of us is capable of holding a cup to another’s lips without our hands shaking.

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Simple Breathing Meditation (relaxing and letting go, plus gaining confidence & respect))

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Use a very simple meditation to breathe out stress:

  • Sit or lie comfortably but making sure that no part of your body is restricted or strained (no sitting on feet, crossed legs, or lying on one elbow etc.
  • Now breathe deeply in and out, focusing on the breath and making it slow down.  Counting your in breath, then counting a pause, then counting the outbreath, can help.  Find a natural rhythm for you.
  • Now focus on relaxing parts of your body from the top down.  Head, face, neck, shoulders, arms.
  • Breathe deeply, and wriggle a bit if you feel inclined to, then do those same areas again.
  • Breathe deeply, and move down the body gradually until you are relaxed from top to toe.
  • Just to check, ask you body if there are any tense areas left, and go back to these.
    Use the word RELAX – say it slowly but meaningfully to yourself as you feel your muscles soften.
  • Now Breathe to let go of past issues – take deep breaths in, and let go as you breathe out.
  • LET GO of any tensions regarding past relationships.
    Allow yourself to let them go – you do not need to carry them now.
    Keep breathing until they are all gone, then give a last big sigh along with a shrug, shake, or wriggle.
  • Breathe out tensions regarding outside things or involvements affecting you or your family.
    Know that you can cope with this.  Take strength from what you have managed so far.
  • Breathe in confidence and self respect.  Ask the universe (or God) to support you, to give you the energy to continue to be strong, and balanced.
  • Now breathe out tensions about any financial or other worries hanging over you.
    You know you can only do your best, make what plans you can, and try to greet each day as it comes.  There is no point in wasting more energy on worrying, once you’ve done what you can.
  • Now breathe out any tensions about current family or relationship issues.
    Focus instead on all the positive things you are trying to do.
    Think also about the good things, the funny things, the loveable things, and be grateful.
  • Shrug, shake, or wriggle to let go of any last bits of tension, and you are done.

Use my mediations videos on youtube – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHMEoye4AytW1RjFJw1Br1g

to help get you started on more ideas, and to get more of a hang of the idea of meditation itself –

or tracks on soundcloud – https://soundcloud.com/julia-woodman
(Julia Woodman / Radiance Solutions)

www.radiance-solutions.co.uk

Life Coaching, Counselling, Healing, Creativity – (Advice & Support available by phone or email)

julia@radiance-solutions.co.uk

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