I wrote this blog for another website this time last year, so I can share it here now. The fact that I wrote it for another site, accounts for the different sort of tone than I normally use, please forgive me for that, try to look at it as a bit of fun, and do please let me know what you think!
Okay, so right from the start I will ask you to bear with me as I am going to be a bit tough here. It’s to get the best out of you – for your own good – IF you really want to be the best you. [Actually it’s not hard work, it’s just the concepts that may be challenging.]
So I want you to promise me that if I say something that really pulls a chord within you, don’t throw your hands up – give yourself a chance – take it as an opportunity to help yourself learn and grow! Delight in your ability to take on something that really matters – your responsibility to yourself – delight in the challenge.
Now, I’m not saying anybody’s ever going to be ‘perfect’ – I’m certainly not! All we can do is be the best we know how to be, and aim to keep moving forward with that as we learn more how we can do that. The concept of ‘perfection’ is misleading in itself because to be perfectly human simply means just to be human – to accept yourself as you are – but from there on in, to strive to be truly, fully, that which you are, more and more completely, so that you can enjoy life in all it’s abundance, utterly.
I doesn’t mean saying “This is me, put up with it!”. It does mean getting to that place where you can say “Yeah, this is me – this is how I feel good in myself – and this is how I can feel happy to go out in the world. This is the me I want to share, with all my skills, caring, strength, unique characteristics, etc.
So take a deep breath, and promise yourself that you are going to reward yourself with this good feeling. You are not going to be puffed up with artificial pride and pretend that you are above others though – you are going to be humbly at peace with yourself. You are going to accept the full flow of joy in your life, which is balanced because it goes both ways – you show yourself to life and to the world, and life and the world show themselves to you – it is all quite natural.
Even if things get tricky, you are not going to give up and be a baby – you are going to take a bit of space for yourself to accept the beautiful life stream deeply into yourself, to renew, boost, strengthen, and calm you. As you breathe, feel it flowing into your heart from everywhere around you, the earth, the universe. It flows in through all parts of your body and lifts you up to a higher frequency.
Allow yourself to rest in this while you take stock – as you start to steady, ask for understanding and inspiration to flow into you along with the energy – and look for what you can learn from the situation, which will then show you how to move ahead again and deal with things.
Now I want you to get yourself past blocks that might be limiting you. You have learned things in your childhood and from your experiences that have coloured your views so that you don’t see the full picture. You have formed judgements and beliefs based on limited teachings and viewpoints. That’s nobody’s fault – it’s just one of those things that happens due to the very nature of our vulnerability – it’s just something we have to realise and grow past. So now I want you to open up to the possibility that things could be different. You aren’t going to let these limitations block you from being who you fully can be – are you?
I want you to realise that this is the same for everybody at some point, but people manage to get beyond it – some more easily than others – but really it is just a matter of not holding on to things that aren’t helping you. Once you recognise what your blocks are, you can release them – because you know they don’t really belong to you and to where your life is going now. Or you can do it the easy way and just decide to be open to all possibilities, decide to just not accept limitations, because you are the best person to know who you really can be if you just let go and allow life to welcome you.
Who wants to be limited by the thoughts of others? So take on your own responsibility for what you believe your reality to be. Do you really believe you should be limited in your journey of discovering who you really can be? NO! Then be true to yourself – find out what you REALLY feel, who you REALLY are.
You aren’t a child anymore – you should not expect to be molly-coddled by others – you should stand up & earn your right to be truly loved – not pandered to because people are afraid you might sulk or get stroppy – but loved for being your honest self. If you were spoilt as a child then don’t let that go on spoiling your life – let go of the belief that everything should go your way, and learn a bit of give and take. If you try to manipulate people then they will treat you with equal disrespect. Grow up – this is me and you here – you’re an adult now – and adults should not be spoilt brats.
Adults go on learning for themselves, instead of depending on others – they learn how to go on growing into themselves – into the people they truly should be.
They expand into the largeness of all the fascinating possibilities that life offers, the opportunities to learn, and to be a magnificently fulfilled human being. When you become yourself, as you gently grow into each moment as more and more of who you can be, then you are opening yourself up completely to love and life in all its forms – beauty, abundance, meaningfulness, balanced relationships….. and so much more.
It is honestly all your choice to either:
- Pretend to be something or someone else, constantly having to pull more tricks out of the box to impress or try to cover up lies, always desperately hoping that your house of cards won’t fall down just yet, but sick inside because deep down you know that it will one day. Then you will probably lose all the meaningless things you have hoarded.
- Not bother with any attempt at becoming yourself, just muddling through by playing all sorts of games, such as blaming others and thus trying to manipulate them through guilt, or acting like some sort of helpless victim and thus trying to force others into helping because they feel sorry for you. You are probably also leaning on some sort of addictions here, to try to hide your fright from even yourself, your feeling of not being able to cope with the realities of life. (There are a whole host of addictions other than just drink & drugs by the way, count in gratuitous sex or violence, excessive food or sleep, gambling of course, high speeds and risk taking, and anything else that gives you a temporary but meaningless thrill, or that just numbs you..)
- Drop the falsehoods and become you. Along with this you will drop all fears of losing control, or of being discovered as a fraud, or as a useless waste of space, so you will go out into the world and find it coming to greet you in such an amazing way. It will provide you with all that you need to show up for yourself and those around you as a valid, useful, reliable, understanding, fair, warm, loveable human being.
It is in your power to be a balanced, happy person – if you are prepared to take on truth. Truly – you have the power to be wonderful. So let’s get together – imagine I am there with you, asking you:
- What’s stopping you?
- Why are you letting it?
- What are you going to do about it?
Deep down you know the answers. Learn to listen to this voice from the heart of your very being, and trust it. This is your best ever guide.
If you used to believe that you had to do things in certain ways to get what you wanted – then let go of that belief now. You feel light as all that complicated weight falls away. All you have to do is find out who the true you is, and be that. You don’t need to manipulate or control anything. You don’t need to be afraid of being found out. Just be yourself, honestly, openly, and the world will respond to you more positively.
Bring the energy of the universe and the earth into your body – tell yourself that it is supporting you – just as it does others who are being true to themselves – and that is the only support you really need. Of course family and friends, and even colleagues, will be supportive too – as they recognise you becoming at last the true you, they will feel more love and generosity towards you, and they may even look to you as an example. They will reflect your inner light and respond to your lightness of being in more natural and open ways. The new you will be greeted by the world in a new way. People’s response to you reflects back to you who you are now.
Greet this new year with an open face and an open heart – you know that you have the power to keep expanding. It’s easy once you have started! Your sense of peace increases as your self-knowledge and self-acceptance increases. Your strength comes from honestly knowing yourself and always aiming to be the best that you can be.
Don’t make empty resolutions about this or that external little thing – make one huge resolution to give yourself to yourself. Then everything else will quite effortlessly fall into place.
Oh – and don’t ever get angry with yourself for past idiocies – laugh them off. Don’t hold onto them or they only harm you – just acknowledge them briefly so that you have learned something from the mistake, then let them go and move beyond. So laugh, thank yourself for noticing the silliness, then surrender all the stuff that you don’t need any more – feel lighter as you let it go. Exactly the same applies to others – don’t blame anyone for anything, just surrender it and move on. Now you are wiser, you can handle things differently. Don’t be arrogant about it though, or believe me, the universe will throw tests at you. Surrender the misleading desires of your ego along with the rest of it – it doesn’t matter what anyone else does or thinks, it is what you do yourself that shows up who you are being in each moment. We all make slip-ups – just forgive, whether it is yourself or others, or both, and journey on towards your next best self.
Clear out things you don’t want, mentally, emotionally, and actual physical clutter. Clear the space for new things to grow, like weeding the garden to provide space for new seeds, and to give the plants you do want to keep the best chance to flourish, blossom, provide food for body, heart, and soul.
Trust your instinct to know the answers to your own questions, and what to do next. Energise your life – unlock your skills and abilities. Step out of the shadows, release binds, and clear blocks – like false beliefs, blame, guilt, anger, self-sabotage, doubt. There is no room for indecision if you are clear about what you want.
Write notes to yourself to help you clarify your aims, and clear your head. Set plans in place to take easy breezy steps towards your goals. Don’t be distracted or allow yourself to get confused or side-tracked. What you do must feel right and true to you. Don’t accept less than what you seek. Make a list of your values and tick them off as you confirm that you are living by them. Love your life – and it helps to keep humour alive.
Live joyfully. Be your own best friend, but be a friend to others too, and don’t be afraid to ask them to be friends for you. Even if you end up being the strong one, helping out, or giving advice when asked – you shouldn’t have to be an island – you deserve to have a happy band of people around to help you too.
You don’t need crutches to lean on once you start this journey properly. You don’t ever need to hide or play games either – you can look the world right in the eye, be honest with yourself as well as with everyone else.
As your patterns clarify into a true representation of who you are – life will recognise this and reflect your abundantly graceful way of BEING right back to you.
It is exhilarating to liberate yourself. You won’t be allowing yourself to be suppressed or limited any more. You won’t feel sapped of energy any more. You will become aligned with whatever holds real meaning for you. You will take care of yourself, not in a selfish way, but in a healthy way, in order to optimise your whole being – good nutrition, exercise, good breathing, positive thinking – because you are all the time learning more about yourself, and how to avoid negative spirals, and things you don’t want in your life.
You are the only one who can limit yourself, so just don’t allow it to happen.
Always expand your being, do what works best for you – breathe – expand your energy. Use the ideas in here for renewing and inspiring yourself (and I can offer you many more ideas if you want to take it further). Stretch yourself.
Don’t wait – start now. Welcome your new life in – stand tall. Open your heart and your eyes – you already have all that it takes – to be really alive. Shine on you crazy diamonds!
We have guides, and life coaching packs available for your own use at –
including how to use consciousness expanding tools such as meditation.
The life coaching packs include all 3 of my Achievable Goal Planning Sections in one bundle –
How to Maximise Success, Help to Decide, and all the FORMS to assist you.
Link to blog on Positive Mind and Body Talk (Intention II)
See my articles – An Holistic approach to Loving our Bodies and our Lives
and Respecting your Body and choosing sound relationships
What a ride it’s gonna be!