Power of Logic & Affirmations (for Anger Management etc)

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Power of Logic & Affirmations to Free us from Destructive Emotional Storms & Reclaim Respect & Control.

What is your relationship like with yourself?  Sometimes we let ourselves down, getting sucked into destructive emotional storms, even though we can see this ultimately works against our desired objectives.  Storms spew out far too much at once and thus tend to break everything down.  If we lose control in this way, we lose the respect of others, and might even lose respect for ourselves.

If we can stand back from our emotions and look at them logically, we can then find ways of training our minds to handle them differently.  To start with you can only do this after the event – when you are not in the midst of being caught up in the storm of emotions.  Gradually though, you will learn to do it as you begin to feel the emotions rise, or even in the middle of an event, to calm you down again.

It is much more logical to NOT LOSE or GIVE AWAY the power of positive possibility, by not giving in to negative turmoil, so don’t let yourself be overwhelmed!  If you do, then you are literally just giving away your power to the other people involved, or losing it to the situation itself.

So, let’s consider these affirmations to help us build up positive power and learn to keep it going for ourselves.

Could you please ensure you are sitting comfortably in a position that allows you to breathe deeply and slowly as you listen
Please try not to put up resistance to the affirmations, they are designed to help you get past blocks, and the more you listen to them the more they will help you.
Please try to listen with your eyes closed so that you are relaxed and focused.  They will be read out slowly enough for you to absorb them, like a guided meditation.
If you really feel a resistance to the idea of listening, then please at least read the affirmations through to yourself.  I suggest doing this several times over a period of several days, until you do feel ready to listen to them.  Being relaxed and just listening will help them get through at a deeper level, when you are ready to be open to this.

THE AFFIRMATIONS

I feel confident in myself as a person, to do what I need to do in life.

I do not let what other people think affect this, however I am willing to learn from valid comments, and let go of all the rest as being irrelevant.

I do not waste my power and energy on worrying about what others think, I merely reconsider my own situation honestly, and move on.

I will not become upset by criticism, or take any of it personally.  I am not responsible for other people’s thoughts or needs, only for my own.

I will simply consider if there are any points worth learning from, and let go of anything else.

I do not react in a way that shuts me off from the possibility of learning.

Sometimes I accept that people are going to say things because they believe they should, and I am able to let that go, like water off a ducks back, if I feel it is not valid.

I do not let it anger me, I let it slide off, let it go.

I realize that melodrama can be addictive.  It may seem exciting, but it really gets in the way of things.  I therefore choose not to waste my time & energy on that, instead of progressing.

It is more important to use my time and energy to move forward with situations.

I do not allow myself to succumb to reactions that get in the way of making the best of things.

I simply breathe to let emotions go, and move on with life.

I accept that people have a right to their opinions, but they do not need to affect me, unless I think they have a valid point for me to consider.

I accept that sometimes they may even wish to help me, and I accept that sometimes this may actually be of benefit, so I don’t allow my emotions to cloud my ability to listen.

I do not allow negative emotions to get in the way of my progress.

Any judgement is gently dismissed – as if blown away on the breeze.

I will not put up resistance, I will simply let it go.

I understand that if I try to resist something it only brings negative power to the situation, when it would be better to move on to something more positive.

I do not give away my energy, and precious time, by indulging in these negatives, but turn instead to directing my energy towards the next steps.

I am focused on making something new and better.

As I breathe out, I take my attention to more positive thoughts.

I begin to see more clearly what I could do next to improve the situation, instead of being caught up in churning it over and over.

I notice the good things around me, and in my life, and smile to myself.

I can even see the good things in people more easily, and the positive potential of situations.

I know that if I can let go of irrelevant stuff and relax, I am much more able to do well.

This applies to all my relationships, as well as to situations – partner, children, friends, and even those I have to do business with.

I am also developing a better relationship with myself.

I know that I can get on well with myself and my life if I let go, rather than let myself get wound up by others.

I realize that letting others wind me up only gives them power over me, so I choose instead to keep my power for myself, and direct it to where I want it to be.

I realize that anger, resentment, and bitterness actually sabotages myself.

So I do not allow myself to shoot myself in the foot, because this is obviously illogical.

I focus on my breath instead, and calm and let go in each moment.

I consider things logically later, when I am in a safe place to do so.

I know that I have the power to be COOL, CALM, and COLLECTED and to not allow others, or situations, to affect my own best ways of managing things.

I breathe in the calmness and let it fill my body right up.

I focus on feeling it coming in with each breath.

I feel powerful and in control.

I know I can find my best way forward whatever the situation.

I trust myself to keep steady.

I allow myself to unwind whenever I need to so that I can then get on with moving forwards.

I realise that animosity and stubbornness can get in my way.

I can see that there is nothing to be achieved from arguing over a point.

It is best for me to consider things later and decide for myself how to best move forward.

I do not waste time and energy on arguing because I know it is much more important to focus that energy on moving forward positively.

I keep my eyes on the positive because this allows the negatives to just slip away.

I do not give my energy away, or allow it become scattered.

I draw on it to help me, and those close to me, to succeed and be happy.

I hold my power gently within the centre of my body.

I can use it for myself and those close to me anytime I want to.

I realise that it is better to be humble and considerate, which lets life flow,  than to shout and wrestle, which only puts up resistance to life.

I do not let animosity and stubbornness arise, I simply breathe in to CALM and move on to a more positive focus.

I realize that volatile emotions are usually destructive, and I know that I do not want to destroy relationships or situations, so I breathe out to let any unwanted emotions go.

I want to give things the best chance of working out, so I direct my energy to that, and the positive things I can do.

I always remind myself to let go and calm, so that I can keep focussed.

I breathe to relax so that I can go on as positively as possible.

I CHOOSE the power of logic over the power of destruction.

I choose not to waste my energy on anger, bitterness, and fear of results, but to focus my energy on getting the good things done instead.

I choose not to waste my energy on worry either, as I realize that it is all hypothetical, so I use all the energy to ensure getting the best results.

I focus now and every day on moving things forward positively.

I know that I can do this.  I trust myself to do this.

I breathe in the calmness anytime I need it, and I let go of all the negatives, so that I can be the best I can be.

I do not put undue pressure on myself though, I relax wonderfully into being my best self.

I feel power gathering in me when I breathe, filling me up and helping me to progress steadily.

I feel power, like oxygen, in every cell of my body, and smile, or nod.

The smile, or nod, switches on a light in the centre of my body, and in my head.

I feel the light filling me up too, as it flows around my head, and around my body, in my blood.

I feel that I am growing as I become more filled with light and gentle power.

I feel the strength of my self-belief expand in a calm and sure way.

Now I am easily able to let go of stuff I don’t need – anytime I want to.

I trust myself to be calm yet powerful.

Calm, DIGNIFIED power fills me, and lifts me, now, and anytime I need it.

I now understand how to conserve my personal power, as well as how to build it up.

I am now ready to begin to live in each new moment with more  and more of this steady power available and able to help me.

I know that I am now able to take more and more control of my future.

I will use these affirmations regularly, because each time I do so, I will take them on at a deeper level, and become more and more able to use them consistently, and even automatically.

I feel confident in myself as a person, to do what I need to do.

By facing up to things instead of obscuring them with emotional storms, I earn more and more respect.

I know now that quiet assertion is a much better way to say what I need to say, than to get sucked into melodrama.

I am now able to focus on the important points, and communicate effectively & efficiently, instead of wasting time and energy going in circles and dragging in unnecessary stuff.

I now command & deserve respect from others, and I also have more respect for myself/

I am steady and focused as I now go about my life.

Now open your eyes and stretch or move around to ensure you are fully awake.
Have a drink of water maybe.
Discuss your impressions if you wish, or simply hold them inside you for your own reference.

Take the power with you at whatever level you are ready to choose, and return to the affirmations anytime you wish to remind yourself about them, or to take them on at deeper levels.

Note if your impressions & responses change each time you do them.

There are many more self-help tools available via our website www.radiance-solutions.co.uk

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Does familiarity really breed contempt or do we just get lazy with our communication?

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Of course, when you’re getting to know someone you really like, you pay special attention to each other and to what you do together.  You go out of your way to please, perhaps you even take time out of other things that you normally do. Then you get to a stage where you feel you know each other pretty well and you start to relax, and catch up with yourself a bit.  That’s fine and it works really well a lot of the time, especially if you aren’t living in each other’s pockets.  But even then it can sometimes start to appear to the other that you are taking them for granted….. for example if you are paying particular attention to another new friend and expecting your longer term friend to understand that this is just because you are making the effort to be inclusive, rather than meaning to exclude them. You tend to expect them just to know that they are safe in their established role as a friend or partner, and join in accordingly.  But they night not feel that confident in certain situations, and you still need to pay enough attention to realise if they need encouragement or reassurance, or they might start to feel as if you are making a special effort for everyone else except them.  Children might feel similarly that their mother is being especially nice to other children, and just mean or strict with them.  I think we do tend to expect those closest to us to know that they are always the most special to us, but we should realise that they might not always be confident of this, especially if you are suddenly being less attentive than you used to be. When you have been around someone a long time you also tend to act as if you think they should know how you feel about everything, but no matter how much in tune you may be, there is lots of room for misunderstanding, particularly if their awareness is hampered due to them being tired or unwell, or preoccupied with an issue or task, or if you simply didn’t explain things properly. Quite often you may well be in tune enough to know what the other is feeling, or thinking, or talking about, but we should not take this for granted and get frustrated with them if we have not been clear enough about what we mean.  It can only take a very small lapse in communication to create a huge misunderstanding – for example if your wife is talking about one thing and you start talking about another thing without specifying what, she may well assume you are discussing her topic and not realise that a new one has been introduced.  Then later you might be surprised to find that she is adamant that you said something you know you didn’t, or that she did not respond to something you thought you’d specifically mentioned.  Things can easily be misheard too, in the noise of offloading a van for example, she might have asked you “Should we leave these?” and you replied “Yes” because you thought she asked “Do we need these?” only to find that she has now left them behind.  Try not to be too annoyed, just try next time to be more specific…. For example she could have said “Should we leave the box and the tape in the van?” or you could have said “Yes, I want everything upstairs, then at least she would have realised that you had misheard her first question.  When we are busy, too often we are doing things at the same time as talking, so you can’t always hear if someone is walking away from you for example.  It is useful to stop and do a checklist with each other at some point – “have we got everything now?” for example – and go through the list.  Try to leave time for such checks as they often save a lot of time and/or trouble in the long run. Couples obviously tend to be around each other quite a lot, and even though you have chosen this situation, it can certainly be quite challenging to remain amicable.  Humour helps, but it has to be real humour for both parties, the kind of stuff that lets things wash off, not a humour that masks bitterness or pain, as can sometimes be the case.  You do need breaks from each other, time with other friends, time to pursue personal interests, and lots of trust to allow each other the freedom to do their own thing.  Ideally you want to support the other in doing what they want to do, in being themselves, but that doesn’t necessarily mean tagging along!  Often people try to cling or control, or just butt in when perhaps they shouldn’t.  Something else to watch out for here, is that things should work both ways, each should be given roughly equal support and leeway.  A girl shouldn’t expect to go off with her mates and then complain when it is her fellow’s turn.  A wife shouldn’t end up feeling that she gives way more support to her husband than she gets in return, or that he sees her as providing a certain role.  If things do get out of balance we need to remind ourselves that we are responsible for making our own choices, so if we don’t speak up about it then we can’t complain if things don’t change…. We need to take the initiative to discuss it and ask for more help for example, or say that you will be doing less as you need the time to get on with some of your own stuff, for example, or that you need more rest.  Everyone has a right to ask for consideration. I am not saying we all have to do things equally, obviously it often makes sense for one to do more of what one is best at, or to do more of one thing for example so that the other can get on with something they have a special skill for – it’s like a trade off – if I do the cooking and the dishes, you do the DIY.  If one is earning more income from going out to work then it makes sense for the other to do more at home, and it may swing the other way next time.  One person’s career should not be seen to be more important than the other’s unless you both agree that this is the case, each should be allowed the time to devote to this, and anything in your life that helps create a sense of personal fulfilment.  Sometimes we might agree that one has priority for example if they earn a lot more for their time, but careers are not just about money, they are also about self worth and validation, and helping other out too, so this all needs to be taken into account. Obviously finances can be a tricky area – but if we are working as a team, then it is a team effort really too, so if the man earns a lot more perhaps he will agree that it makes sense for him to cover more of the costs, but that she will do more of the home chores for example – or if we are both earning then when we go out we should each pay a share. A woman should not just expect the bloke to pay!  Fights for rights have been no bad thing but sometimes they have pushed us too far the other way, or confused us a bit – women who tend to want to be everything can end up stressing themselves out trying to prove that they can, when often it is better to make some logical choices.  These are all things we need to discuss in detail with our partners as we all have our personal views and needs.  It is not a woman’s fault if society still tends to deem that she earn less.

By the way, I think that it is good to involve children to some degree in discussions that involve who does what or how the bills get paid.  I don’t think we need go into a lot of detail, but I don’t think we should shield them from reality – or they will get a fright later on when they are suddenly faced with everything at once.  I also think that is much better for them to understand how decisions are made, otherwise they might make dreadful assumptions – for example thinking that one parent is treated badly by the other when that isn’t actually the case as you have agreed to do things a certain way for certain reasons that seem good and obvious to you, but that they might never have thought of. They might think that a parent is a failure because they left a job for example if it isn’t explained that this was a choice that was made on purpose and why.  They might think that one parent is ‘bad’ and the other ‘good’ simply because they know about some things and not about others.  Later when they find out that there was actually more of a balance than they thought, they can then end up feeling guilty for having judged in the first place – even though they could not have known any better.  Hopefully we learn to let things go as we mature – there just isn’t anything good about holding onto resentment or guilt. Hopefully our young people will eventually realise that being parents is a huge learning curve!

Couples should ideally be friends as well as partners, and so have the potential to make a very good team, or functional unit – and so focus on communicating properly with each other from this point of view as well as on the more personal and intimate levels. Relationships based just on physical attraction can be pretty emotionally explosive, but then so can any relationship if we let things slip.  Good communication is essential really, otherwise how can you work anything out together? I think no matter how good we might think we are at getting along, we always need to be careful, keep reviewing things, make sure we are treating each other with fairness, respect, and kindness. Sometimes it’s a good thing to remind ourselves when we feel tempted to criticize, that we also do silly things.  “Do not judge lest ye be judged” is always a good quote to bear in mind.  Couples and friends need to be tolerant of each other – not expect too much – we are all human, with human foibles, idiosyncrasies, and imperfections.  We all get tired and tetchy sometimes, or forgetful, or locked into something we are focused on. Don’t expect your partner or friend to always be attentive and tuned into your needs, take the responsibility to stand up for yourself if you think there is something they are forgetting, but try to do it at an appropriate time, when they are likely to be able to listen properly.  There is no need to be upset or take it personally, just remind them, or just do what needs doing if they are really too busy, and hope that they do the same for you when you forget something. There is nothing even to forgive, we are all innocent, bumbling along, having a try at life and love, and mistakes are bound to be made. [Obviously this is very different from someone deliberately deceiving  – all we need is to be honest with each other, and love will keep us wanting to go on trying.] Yes, when you are really close up to someone you tend to notice all their ‘faults’ – but are they really faults?  We all have them – they are just the way we are – yes we can all learn to improve our ways, but we are all on the way all the time, we never become perfect, except in the sense of being perfectly human, warts and all. Other mis-communications are omitting to explain something, for example, “I can’t do that job yet because I need the builder to finish the trimming before I can know the right measurements” will stop her wondering why he won’t get on with it.  However, she also needs to remember that she shouldn’t expect him to get on with it, as he is bound to have his reasons.  We also shouldn’t expect people to do things perfectly – they will simply do as they can. No one can do everything perfectly, and sometimes they may not be feeling well, or might be in a rush to get on to something else.  Our priorities are different, so it can be good to explain for example “I’m going to have to make the dinner a bit later as I really need to finish this first”, or we could ask “Would you mind making dinner tonight as I’m really busy with……” and not just expect them to work it out for themselves. There is no good reason to start feeling contempt and disrespect for our nearest and dearest – if you love them, just accept them for who they are, and hope that they do the same for you.  Try to accentuate the positive, giving praise as often as you can.  We are all like children really, responding well if we are praised, and inclined to give up if we are knocked down too much.  Be nice to each other, nurture what you have, appreciate it.  Don’t be lazy, don’t let it drift, as that is when you do get into trouble.  Keep being clear about the specialness, or risk losing it.  Keep being clear about how you communicate and express how you feel, so that you can keep on working things out together.  If you get lazy about communication this can start to cause huge problems and a build up of resentment.  Don’t sit back and let poisons seep in, keep on top of things.  Don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself when needed.  Be true to yourself and step up to the mark for the good of the team.  Love and trust and mutual respect are the gifts we have – don’t chuck them away, make the effort to keep things going as well as they possibly can.

Other Communication Points:

  • ·        Listening – ask to be listened to when you have something important you want to communicate – don’t just spit it out when the other is in the middle of something – ensure you have their attention.
  • ·        If you are not sure you are getting things across, ask for feedback such as “Can you see why I need to do it this way?” or “Can you understand how I feel / why I reacted that way / made that decision / needed some time with my mate / wanted to go windsurfing by myself for a change…?” Etc.
  • ·        If you are still not getting things across, try explaining in a different way, perhaps making comparisons to similar situations, perhaps turning it around as if your partner or friend were in your place.
  • ·        If it is difficult for you to get your point across, you might like to ask to be listened to without interruption for a while so that you can find the right words for example, but try to balance that by saying “of course, once I have made my attempt, I will be very happy to listen to your point of view and take that into consideration / hear what you think / feel about it.
  • ·        If speaking is difficult, try writing things down, at least at first.  It will also give you time to allow any anger etc to dissipate, and you will see things more clearly.
  • ·        Try to remember that your friends don’t usually mean to criticise you – if they put forward an opinion they are probably trying to be helpful – so don’t take it as a personal sleight, try to see things from their point of view and maybe admit that they might have a point.  If something seems hurtful, try to use your common sense to remind yourself that they would be unlikely to set out to hurt you on purpose, so asking for further clarification would be a good move – much better than reacting hotly!  You might even say “I know you wouldn’t want to hurt me, so I must be misreading this a bit, could you try to clarify what you mean?” On the other hand, if someone really does mean to be hurtful then try to understand why – it may be because they are already hurting themselves.  Maybe they feel that you just said or did something hurtful to them, or maybe they feel you’ve let them down somehow, or maybe they are just upset about something else.  You could ask “Ooh, that feels really hurtful, have I done something to upset you / are you okay?” – and try to give them time to talk if you think they are going to open up – or offer it later if they don’t seem ready just then.
  • ·        Don’t forget your sense of humour! Every so often we need to have a good laugh at ourselves – “Do you remember that time we misunderstood each other and I went off in a stupid huff – ha-ha-ha – let’s not do that again in a hurry – let’s talk – always try to sort things out rather than be miserable, try to lighten up and not over-react..”
  • ·        Don’t ever feel like you don’t have a right to say what you need to say – we all have a right – and we can all learn from each other – everyone is a teacher in their own way.
  • ·        Also try to remember that the best way to teach is to show rather than to tell – be an example of how you would like others to treat you.  So treat your loved ones well, but if they just seem to then take advantage of you, you will need to point this out – don’t let them ‘walk all over you’, as that builds up disrespect.  Being nice needs to not be overdone either – it isn’t good to ‘spoil’ someone, that’s why it is called ‘spoiling’ them….. it teaches them to expect things from / of you, rather than to appreciate, or to learn how to do things for themselves, so it is actually ultimately unkind.
  • ·        Fear holds many of us back, from speaking out, from making our points. We need to try to remind ourselves that there really should be nothing to fear from our nearest and dearest. Even if they don’t agree with what we are saying, they should still respect our point of view.  In fact no one should speak down to another – we all have our place in this world, with our particular unique personality, views, and skills.  Your nearest and dearest should obviously have your best interests at heart, so would probably be mortified if they realised you were suffering in silence, so the sooner you manage to share what you feel the better.
  • ·        Often it is possible to start a communication by first saying something positive to reassure the other person that you are not out to attack them…. For example you might be able to say something like “I really love the way we go out a lot together, but do you think that you could try to bear in mind that sometimes I am very tired from work and try to make some compromise about what time we leave?”  You could also add maybe “If there is something you want to stay out really late for when I need to get up early the next morning, maybe you could go on your own.  I know I tend to go as I drink less and so can drive home, but perhaps on this occasion, you could drink less, or get a taxi?”

So, if we pay attention to our communication, hopefully contempt will not arise, and we will be able to enjoy our familiar relationships as a continual blessing instead. It can be a good idea to regularly do a little reality check to remind ourselves of this.

by Julia Woodman

 

 

Intention II – Positive Mind and Body Talk

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If you have a major op =then yes you have a tough time and it’s fine to talk honestly about it and expect people to be sympathetic and make allowances for you – for example you won’t be able to do a lot of physical work for a while, and you will need time to rest and recuperate.

However, after a bit you need to move on to a new reality. You can’t expect your body to heal itself  properly if your thoughts remain stuck in the past reality – the pain and the trauma.

Our bodies are very good at repairing themselves, even after a major operation, especially if we give them a little help.  “My body is amazingly good at healing itself” – say that now to yourself, and to your friends, instead of dwelling on the previous reality – the reality now is that yes, you had an op in the past, but your body is healing itself and you are recovering.

If you don’t do this, not only might your friends start getting a bit impatient with you – your own body will be confused.  It’s as if the individual cells and the organs are not sure whether they are supposed to be carrying out repairs or not, because you are giving them mixed messages.  You need to focus your intention on getting better, and your body will go along with it.

It’s the same when you want to move forward with your life in other ways – you need to send out clear messages about what your intentions are – and things happen more easily.  If you are confused in your thoughts then how can you expect to get things going smoothly?  It can be very useful to make out plans with logical steps to take as well.  Life Coaching can really help you with this if you are not sure how to go ahead.  It is so much better to choose to do things because you have devised a plan for moving towards a goal, than it is to do things out of fear – to avoid consequences.

So, if you are struggling to fall asleep at night for example, you can also set your intentions to help you out here.  Instead of focusing on things you fear, like bad dreams, you can actually say to yourself – “I intend to have a good night’s sleep tonight and get some proper rest”.  You can also add “It is my intention to only wake up at 9 am”, for example, instead of worrying about waking up during the night.

If you are using a crutch like alcohol or sleeping pills, then don’t worry about that either – take control of the plan by saying to yourself “I am using this as a tool for the moment, but it is my intention to move past that.  I am learning about other tools I can use instead, such as positive thinking, and meditation to help relax me”, for example.

There are many different types of meditation, and ways we can use this wonderful tool – so there is something to suit everybody.

You can simply use deep breaths to help relax your body and then visualise yourself in a beautiful place of your choice, and notice all the wonderful things around you.  This has the added advantage of keeping your mind too busy to start thinking of negative things, or going in useless circles trying to solve some issue.

Letting our monkey minds run away with us uses up energy and achieves nothing, so meditation is great for stilling this wheel spinning type activity and de-stressing.  If such thinking keeps returning, then just imagine setting the thoughts aside on a shelf next to you and go back to your beautiful visualisation.

My favourite sort of visualisations are to imagine myself in some place in nature, where I can explore the details using all my senses to bring it alive, what can I see, feel, hear, smell, and sometimes even taste.  But you can imagine yourself anywhere you like, out or playing games with friends, or having a family meal, for example is fine too.

Some people like to focus on just the breath, or on a single object such as a flower or a flame, in order to still their minds, but the visualisation is easier to use in that it does help deflect other thoughts.  It takes much more practice to just be able to still the mind at will without using distracting tactics.

It depends how good you are at visualising as to what methods you might choose, so just experiment and find out what suits you.

You can also relax your body by focusing on it bit by bit and telling it to relax – your scalp, your face, your eyes, your jaw, your neck, your shoulders, and so on.  Some people like to clench the muscles then relax them, but I prefer to just relax them.  You can repeat the same area several times if you feel there is more to relax there.  Or you can say, “Can I relax this any more?”  “Can this area feel any lighter than this?”

Another alternative is to do a few exercises before meditating, just stretching or sort of warm up or loosening  up exercises, not a huge big deal – it gets your system flowing before the meditation.

You don’t have to be physically still in your visualisation to relax.  Although you may be sitting still imagining it – you could be visualising yourself chatting and laughing or dancing or running about, as long as you are enjoying yourself and not wound up about anything.  In fact, there are even such things as active meditations where instead of sitting still to meditate, you use movement such as rhythmic walking, dancing, or laughter to let go of tensions and focus the mind.

You could even try making sounds such as growling, yapping, howling – as you go up the scale – which can give you a sense of being set free to play.  And you can use singing, toning, or humming, where the different vibrations of various sounds literally roll; around the body, affecting different parts of it, a little bit like internal massage.  The movement and sound also helps ground you very well.

Learning and using any such techniques gives you the power of taking control of, and responsibility for, your way forward, and thus also helps you build confidence or self-assurance., so meditation really is a great tool.  You can also have a lot of fun with it.

You can even use your mind as a tool to solve problems without having to dwell on them – just set your intention for the answer to pop up later and stop worrying about the situation – and usually that works just fine.  Worrying is a total waste of energy anyway and it gets you nowhere by itself.

You can also set your intention to process and let go of issues and your mind and body will find a way to do just that.  Stop hanging on to things that hurt you.

Even if you do catch yourself in negative talk or thoughts, just say “But that was then and NOW it is my intention to move forward….” or just tell your mind to stop doing that and re-direct it.   Try to use affirmations in the present tense when talking to yourself – so instead of “I am planning to do it”, say “I am doing it.“  Soon  it will become a good habit to talk positively to yourself as well as to others.

We all come from the original stream of pure consciousness, innocent and free, until we allow things to drag us down – but we can return to that lightness of being by learning to use tools that help us take back control of our physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.

Link to blog on Personal Change Management

Link to blog on Heart Centred Communication

Link to blog on Evolution of Communication

Evolution of Communication

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2012lifescan1bcol1I believe we are in the process of a huge evolution in our communication levels. This involves changes in the physical body energies and emotional / mental maturity, as well as in the tools we use.

Humanity has generally become more heart centred, willing to speak our truth and stand up for rights where needed.  We evolve despite communication methods being used to try to fool us, manipulate us, scare us, or dumb us down. No one can scare us off without us allowing it – being too worn down to stand up for ourselves and others, or becoming lost in addictive behaviours – but we are proving ourselves to be wolves, not sheep, after all.  We are perpetrating a reLOVEution by taking on board what needs doing in a loving way that benefits us all.  Being heart centred gives us courage and strength, as well as balance, which allows us to be peacefully determined in our quests.

Not that long ago only the elite could read.  Then we had the limited information on radio, then TV – always chosen by them – feeding us what they thought suitable.  But the internet is different – anyone can seek and find their own information, as well as provide it – and we have learnt not to trust ‘them’ because we have found out that we have been deceived about almost everything – so now we are more likely to trust independent sources.  (Some sources which try to appear independent are plants though – to try to divert us or make us think someone else is doing the work so we can relax – so watch out for these please – they are pretty obvious once you realise this.)

Once we trusted others to do our work for us – to see that the world was a decent place – but now we can only trust ourselves, and it is our job to engage with the process, which thankfully millions are doing.  Take heart and join in – this is our real chance, right now, to evolve beyond their control, and to sort out a lot of problems in the world.  Let’s put the heart back into play instead of letting the rich run away with the power.  It’s the dawn of a new age where material worship and hierarchies will fall away like a house of cards to reveal a true deep humanity evolved underneath – informed and well able to better choose how our world should be.

Of course we need to practice good communication in our day-to-day lives with our children, partners, friends, and colleagues, and I have written articles about this, such as:

If we are heart centGV2piccrophearteyes1cropred then we won’t let our heads run away with us – we won’t get caught up in ego based competition or fear based reaction.  I hope that the theory presented in my book “No Paradox – Consciously Evolving Consciousness” helps readers gain a more objective view – a bigger picture that prevents us being sucked into meaningless conflict.  If we can step back from the construct of apparent paradoxes then we can see things more clearly and gain an overall perspective of life and how it should be.

Come join us in our facebook open group “Back to The Garden” where you can post your own information to share, inform, inspire, and give us points of action we can follow up on.  The only way is for people to have a say in how their local and global communities function.  I wrote an article which is relevant here, called “The World’s my Baby but let’s get Local

We also structure global meditation link ups to help change the collective consciousness of the planet by adding positive thoughts to it.  Together we can and are already having an effect.  My article “John Lennon – In the Collective Consciousness – Being Real” shows up just how much of an effect he himself had.  I’ve also written an article called “How to use Meditation to send out Peace, Love, Healing, etc” which is very relevant.

gifts1There are of course many other groups doing similar things and we aim to link up with as many of them as possible, so do share your links so that we can all learn and grow more.  There are some fantastically informative and helpful videos out there too, so please do share these.  We already have a You Tube channel linked to our group.

Petitions are an effective way of highlighting and supporting causes, so we  continue to share these, but there is much more we can do, and we intend to keep on finding deeper solutions, so please do also include discussions about potential social change – we want to take a good look at positive ways forward.  I repeat – the only way is for people to have a say in how their local and global communities function.

I have also written many other relevant articles such as

“Back to TLUCKYCLOVER4he Garden” will be the title of one of my books, which is in progress, so what we discover collectively in the group will influence it.

“No Paradox – Consciously Evolving Consciousness” should be published shortly, and other books such as “Intent-Aware” will follow that.

Please keep up to date by following my website book page or my facebook book page.

Blessings – Julia Woodman – Founder of Radiance-Solutions and Back to The Garden

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Heart Centred Communication

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ImageIn his blog Davidya (davidya.ca) says that “The heart is a transition from the world chakras (energy Centres) below, to the spiritual chakras above.”  I had not heard that term ‘world’ chakras before, but it describes them beautifully.  They are the ones we need to be here in the physical – the root (security/identity) chakra – the sacral (vitality/sexual) chakra – and the solar plexus (self esteem/empowerment) chakra.  Davidya says that as we move through the heart centre “we move from being ego driven to being a seeker”.

As we have evolved though, we need our throat or communication centres, above the heart, to become more fine-tuned. This should not be through trickery or eloquent manipulative tactics – which are still ego based. Instead the pure heart energy should guide how we communicate, and yes putting your hand on your heart while you sing or communicate in difficult situations, does help focus correctly. Your personal truth will shine through and touch people gently. This is much more powerful that any brash attempts at communication aimed to ‘get’ or ‘win’ or ‘persuade’ instead of to SHARE.

I have noticed, particularly when giving healing to trainee healers, that an extra chakra  between the heart and throat would open up with a beautiful clear turquoise when they were ready to start their true healing work.

Davidya goes on to say that the energy running up the body meets the energy coming down from the top of the head via the spine, but that the heart also has its own sutra from the front.  He says that “on the journey (of the energy) down, the heart is the transition from the detached witnessing Spirit of Self Realization – into God Consciousness, which sets the ground for the fullness of Unity”.  So you become complete in the knowing that you are interconnected with everything.