Tag Archives: anger

Lighter than this – free-er than this – GETTING INTO THE ZONE – using these mind-body link methods

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Lighter than this, Free­er than this – getting into the ZONE –
by Julia Woodman – Stress Consultant,  Life Coach, Counsellor, and Writer

There is a system called Mentastics, which is short for Mental Gymnastics,
founded by Milton Trager in America.  This system helps people to relearn how to move well after they have suffered restrictions in their movements.

There are many specific movements, but it can also be used to help anyone
move gently to stretch their bodies in ways that feel intuitively right.  The main
mental side of it is to “hook up” the mind with the body in a dynamic yet peaceful
state.  This can be triggered simply by thinking the questions “What can be
lighter than this?  What can be free-er?, and your body and mind respond by doing
things in a less tense or forced way, becoming naturally lighter and free-­er
“Hook up” is similar to getting into the zone..  It really is amazing what can be achieved.

These simple mind : body linking questions can be used to help with many things :
• Sport ­ optimise your performance.  Get into the zone, where you are lightly
focused, not trying to force things, and your body can seem to fly.
• Study – learn faster with light concentration.  Trying too hard can get in the way.
Playing music in the background is often helpful.  Find ways to have fun, for
example you could sing acronyms to help you remember lists.  You could even do
your own light body movements to reinforce memory.  It will seem much easier
to learn.
• Before exams ­ feel more relaxed and confident.  Use the questions to entrain
your mind to relax and just get on with it instead of worrying.
• Before public speaking ­ feel centred.  Take a few deep breaths, and use the
questions and feel your body grounding to the earth and becoming calm.
• Before Interviews – feel ready to do your best, by following the same pattern as
above.  Of course, make sure you arrive well prepared too.
• Debate – be relaxed but on the ball during debates.  Again, these questions just
magically help you get into the zone where you can function optimally.
• Argument Prevention – don’t get over excited, think before you speak or act, it
saves a lot of embarrassment later.  If you remember the questions, these will help
you pause instead of doing anything silly.

• Wellbeing – let your body fine tune itself and tell you if it needs anything.  If you
do those intuitive movements, you are tuning into your body, so that you are
listening to it, and responding to its needs.  You can do it lying or standing still
too.  Just take your deep breaths, ask the questions, and focus inwards gently.
• Confidence Boosting before social activities.  If you are a not usually too at ease
around other people, this will all help.  It will probably also help you play better
pool, darts, bowls, etc.
• Managing Stress at work or home. If a situation arises, what better way to
immediately lift yourself above it instead of getting sucked or dragged down.
• Managing Anger anywhere.  Keep yourself out of trouble by using these
questions to just help you stop and lighten up instead of react.
[We also have an anger management video on YouTube. And others.]
• Managing Habits – it can be easier than you might think to change habits!  Every
time you want to transgress, you can use these questions to remind yourself how
good it feels to not be at the mercy of your habits, and rise above them, taking
control of your life by doing what you choose to do instead.
• Overcoming Fears.  Any fears can be stilled if you “hook up” your mind and
body, and feel the dynamic yet peaceful connection.  Breathe deeply but gently
and feel the power and peace flowing through your veins.
• Overcoming doubts, anxiety, and worry.  Again, use the questions to just remind
yourself that everything is okay really.  If you feel good, you can easily face stuff.
Worry etc are totally useless things anyway, they don’t help you understand or
cope with anything, they just get in the way, so don’t let them steal your energy.
Stop worrying about how things might appear to others and just be yourself.
• Forgiveness – letting go of what has been hurting you.  If someone else hurt you
then you need to forgive yourself for holding onto it for so long as well as forgive
them.  Claim back your power by using these questions to boost your sense of
lightness and freedom, and just let yourself see that there is no point in holding
onto things that have been giving you grief.
• Letting Go of Past Issues.  Again, these issues and worries need not hurt you
anymore today.  Ask yourself the two questions, and let them slip away.  The
power and the peace infusing your body helps your mind to know that you are
ready to move on with new things, and the past is no longer needed.

Take an imaginary shower to clear & cleanse yourself.  If you are letting go of stuff then
this is an extra visualisation you can use to just help clean away the last remnants of what
you no longer need, whether it be past issues, pain, old beliefs, negativity, bad habits, etc.
You know you can now move beyond these.  Just let the water wash away anything you
don’t need from both inside and outside of you. That’s why it has to be the imagination rather
than a real shower, but there is no reason why you can’t do it in the real shower anyway, and
just imagine the internal bit.

No matter how squeaky clean you might come out of your shower, don’t forget about
these magic questions ­ you may need them for other things still.  Let them help you live
to the best of your ability.  Even just walking down the street, they can help you feel at
one with the world whenever you remember them.

See details of our Meditation Guide.

See details of our Stress Busting Guide.

Power of Logic & Affirmations (for Anger Management etc)

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Power of Logic & Affirmations to Free us from Destructive Emotional Storms & Reclaim Respect & Control.

What is your relationship like with yourself?  Sometimes we let ourselves down, getting sucked into destructive emotional storms, even though we can see this ultimately works against our desired objectives.  Storms spew out far too much at once and thus tend to break everything down.  If we lose control in this way, we lose the respect of others, and might even lose respect for ourselves.

If we can stand back from our emotions and look at them logically, we can then find ways of training our minds to handle them differently.  To start with you can only do this after the event – when you are not in the midst of being caught up in the storm of emotions.  Gradually though, you will learn to do it as you begin to feel the emotions rise, or even in the middle of an event, to calm you down again.

It is much more logical to NOT LOSE or GIVE AWAY the power of positive possibility, by not giving in to negative turmoil, so don’t let yourself be overwhelmed!  If you do, then you are literally just giving away your power to the other people involved, or losing it to the situation itself.

So, let’s consider these affirmations to help us build up positive power and learn to keep it going for ourselves.

Could you please ensure you are sitting comfortably in a position that allows you to breathe deeply and slowly as you listen
Please try not to put up resistance to the affirmations, they are designed to help you get past blocks, and the more you listen to them the more they will help you.
Please try to listen with your eyes closed so that you are relaxed and focused.  They will be read out slowly enough for you to absorb them, like a guided meditation.
If you really feel a resistance to the idea of listening, then please at least read the affirmations through to yourself.  I suggest doing this several times over a period of several days, until you do feel ready to listen to them.  Being relaxed and just listening will help them get through at a deeper level, when you are ready to be open to this.

THE AFFIRMATIONS

I feel confident in myself as a person, to do what I need to do in life.

I do not let what other people think affect this, however I am willing to learn from valid comments, and let go of all the rest as being irrelevant.

I do not waste my power and energy on worrying about what others think, I merely reconsider my own situation honestly, and move on.

I will not become upset by criticism, or take any of it personally.  I am not responsible for other people’s thoughts or needs, only for my own.

I will simply consider if there are any points worth learning from, and let go of anything else.

I do not react in a way that shuts me off from the possibility of learning.

Sometimes I accept that people are going to say things because they believe they should, and I am able to let that go, like water off a ducks back, if I feel it is not valid.

I do not let it anger me, I let it slide off, let it go.

I realize that melodrama can be addictive.  It may seem exciting, but it really gets in the way of things.  I therefore choose not to waste my time & energy on that, instead of progressing.

It is more important to use my time and energy to move forward with situations.

I do not allow myself to succumb to reactions that get in the way of making the best of things.

I simply breathe to let emotions go, and move on with life.

I accept that people have a right to their opinions, but they do not need to affect me, unless I think they have a valid point for me to consider.

I accept that sometimes they may even wish to help me, and I accept that sometimes this may actually be of benefit, so I don’t allow my emotions to cloud my ability to listen.

I do not allow negative emotions to get in the way of my progress.

Any judgement is gently dismissed – as if blown away on the breeze.

I will not put up resistance, I will simply let it go.

I understand that if I try to resist something it only brings negative power to the situation, when it would be better to move on to something more positive.

I do not give away my energy, and precious time, by indulging in these negatives, but turn instead to directing my energy towards the next steps.

I am focused on making something new and better.

As I breathe out, I take my attention to more positive thoughts.

I begin to see more clearly what I could do next to improve the situation, instead of being caught up in churning it over and over.

I notice the good things around me, and in my life, and smile to myself.

I can even see the good things in people more easily, and the positive potential of situations.

I know that if I can let go of irrelevant stuff and relax, I am much more able to do well.

This applies to all my relationships, as well as to situations – partner, children, friends, and even those I have to do business with.

I am also developing a better relationship with myself.

I know that I can get on well with myself and my life if I let go, rather than let myself get wound up by others.

I realize that letting others wind me up only gives them power over me, so I choose instead to keep my power for myself, and direct it to where I want it to be.

I realize that anger, resentment, and bitterness actually sabotages myself.

So I do not allow myself to shoot myself in the foot, because this is obviously illogical.

I focus on my breath instead, and calm and let go in each moment.

I consider things logically later, when I am in a safe place to do so.

I know that I have the power to be COOL, CALM, and COLLECTED and to not allow others, or situations, to affect my own best ways of managing things.

I breathe in the calmness and let it fill my body right up.

I focus on feeling it coming in with each breath.

I feel powerful and in control.

I know I can find my best way forward whatever the situation.

I trust myself to keep steady.

I allow myself to unwind whenever I need to so that I can then get on with moving forwards.

I realise that animosity and stubbornness can get in my way.

I can see that there is nothing to be achieved from arguing over a point.

It is best for me to consider things later and decide for myself how to best move forward.

I do not waste time and energy on arguing because I know it is much more important to focus that energy on moving forward positively.

I keep my eyes on the positive because this allows the negatives to just slip away.

I do not give my energy away, or allow it become scattered.

I draw on it to help me, and those close to me, to succeed and be happy.

I hold my power gently within the centre of my body.

I can use it for myself and those close to me anytime I want to.

I realise that it is better to be humble and considerate, which lets life flow,  than to shout and wrestle, which only puts up resistance to life.

I do not let animosity and stubbornness arise, I simply breathe in to CALM and move on to a more positive focus.

I realize that volatile emotions are usually destructive, and I know that I do not want to destroy relationships or situations, so I breathe out to let any unwanted emotions go.

I want to give things the best chance of working out, so I direct my energy to that, and the positive things I can do.

I always remind myself to let go and calm, so that I can keep focussed.

I breathe to relax so that I can go on as positively as possible.

I CHOOSE the power of logic over the power of destruction.

I choose not to waste my energy on anger, bitterness, and fear of results, but to focus my energy on getting the good things done instead.

I choose not to waste my energy on worry either, as I realize that it is all hypothetical, so I use all the energy to ensure getting the best results.

I focus now and every day on moving things forward positively.

I know that I can do this.  I trust myself to do this.

I breathe in the calmness anytime I need it, and I let go of all the negatives, so that I can be the best I can be.

I do not put undue pressure on myself though, I relax wonderfully into being my best self.

I feel power gathering in me when I breathe, filling me up and helping me to progress steadily.

I feel power, like oxygen, in every cell of my body, and smile, or nod.

The smile, or nod, switches on a light in the centre of my body, and in my head.

I feel the light filling me up too, as it flows around my head, and around my body, in my blood.

I feel that I am growing as I become more filled with light and gentle power.

I feel the strength of my self-belief expand in a calm and sure way.

Now I am easily able to let go of stuff I don’t need – anytime I want to.

I trust myself to be calm yet powerful.

Calm, DIGNIFIED power fills me, and lifts me, now, and anytime I need it.

I now understand how to conserve my personal power, as well as how to build it up.

I am now ready to begin to live in each new moment with more  and more of this steady power available and able to help me.

I know that I am now able to take more and more control of my future.

I will use these affirmations regularly, because each time I do so, I will take them on at a deeper level, and become more and more able to use them consistently, and even automatically.

I feel confident in myself as a person, to do what I need to do.

By facing up to things instead of obscuring them with emotional storms, I earn more and more respect.

I know now that quiet assertion is a much better way to say what I need to say, than to get sucked into melodrama.

I am now able to focus on the important points, and communicate effectively & efficiently, instead of wasting time and energy going in circles and dragging in unnecessary stuff.

I now command & deserve respect from others, and I also have more respect for myself/

I am steady and focused as I now go about my life.

Now open your eyes and stretch or move around to ensure you are fully awake.
Have a drink of water maybe.
Discuss your impressions if you wish, or simply hold them inside you for your own reference.

Take the power with you at whatever level you are ready to choose, and return to the affirmations anytime you wish to remind yourself about them, or to take them on at deeper levels.

Note if your impressions & responses change each time you do them.

There are many more self-help tools available via our website www.radiance-solutions.co.uk

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Be The Best You For The New Year

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I wrote this blog for another website this time last year, so I can share it here now.  The fact that I wrote it for another site, accounts for the different sort of tone than I normally use, please forgive me for that, try to look at it as a bit of fun, and do please let me know what you think!

Okay, so right from the start I will ask you to bear with me as I am going to be a bit tough here. It’s to get the best out of you – for your own good – IF you really want to be the best you. [Actually it’s not hard work, it’s just the concepts that may be challenging.]

So I want you to promise me that if I say something that really pulls a chord within you, don’t throw your hands up – give yourself a chance – take it as an opportunity to help yourself learn and grow! Delight in your ability to take on something that really matters – your responsibility to yourself – delight in the challenge.

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Now, I’m not saying anybody’s ever going to be ‘perfect’ – I’m certainly not! All we can do is be the best we know how to be, and aim to keep moving forward with that as we learn more how we can do that. The concept of ‘perfection’ is misleading in itself because to be perfectly human simply means just to be human – to accept yourself as you are – but from there on in, to strive to be truly, fully, that which you are, more and more completely, so that you can enjoy life in all it’s abundance, utterly.

I doesn’t mean saying “This is me, put up with it!”. It does mean getting to that place where you can say “Yeah, this is me – this is how I feel good in myself – and this is how I can feel happy to go out in the world. This is the me I want to share, with all my skills, caring, strength, unique characteristics, etc.

So take a deep breath, and promise yourself that you are going to reward yourself with this good feeling. You are not going to be puffed up with artificial pride and pretend that you are above others though – you are going to be humbly at peace with yourself. You are going to accept the full flow of joy in your life, which is balanced because it goes both ways – you show yourself to life and to the world, and life and the world show themselves to you – it is all quite natural.

Even if things get tricky, you are not going to give up and be a baby – you are going to take a bit of space for yourself to accept the beautiful life stream deeply into yourself, to renew, boost, strengthen, and calm you. As you breathe, feel it flowing into your heart from everywhere around you, the earth, the universe. It flows in through all parts of your body and lifts you up to a higher frequency.

Allow yourself to rest in this while you take stock – as you start to steady, ask for understanding and inspiration to flow into you along with the energy – and look for what you can learn from the situation, which will then show you how to move ahead again and deal with things.

Now I want you to get yourself past blocks that might be limiting you. You have learned things in your childhood and from your experiences that have coloured your views so that you don’t see the full picture. You have formed judgements and beliefs based on limited teachings and viewpoints. That’s nobody’s fault – it’s just one of those things that happens due to the very nature of our vulnerability – it’s just something we have to realise and grow past. So now I want you to open up to the possibility that things could be different. You aren’t going to let these limitations block you from being who you fully can be – are you?

I want you to realise that this is the same for everybody at some point, but people manage to get beyond it – some more easily than others – but really it is just a matter of not holding on to things that aren’t helping you. Once you recognise what your blocks are, you can release them – because you know they don’t really belong to you and to where your life is going now. Or you can do it the easy way and just decide to be open to all possibilities, decide to just not accept limitations, because you are the best person to know who you really can be if you just let go and allow life to welcome you.

Who wants to be limited by the thoughts of others? So take on your own responsibility for what you believe your reality to be. Do you really believe you should be limited in your journey of discovering who you really can be? NO! Then be true to yourself – find out what you REALLY feel, who you REALLY are.

You aren’t a child anymore – you should not expect to be molly-coddled by others – you should stand up & earn your right to be truly loved – not pandered to because people are afraid you might sulk or get stroppy – but loved for being your honest self. If you were spoilt as a child then don’t let that go on spoiling your life – let go of the belief that everything should go your way, and learn a bit of give and take. If you try to manipulate people then they will treat you with equal disrespect. Grow up – this is me and you here – you’re an adult now – and adults should not be spoilt brats.

Adults go on learning for themselves, instead of depending on others – they learn how to go on growing into themselves – into the people they truly should be.

They expand into the largeness of all the fascinating possibilities that life offers, the opportunities to learn, and to be a magnificently fulfilled human being. When you become yourself, as you gently grow into each moment as more and more of who you can be, then you are opening yourself up completely to love and life in all its forms – beauty, abundance, meaningfulness, balanced relationships….. and so much more.

It is honestly all your choice to either:

  1. Pretend to be something or someone else, constantly having to pull more tricks out of the box to impress or try to cover up lies, always desperately hoping that your house of cards won’t fall down just yet, but sick inside because deep down you know that it will one day. Then you will probably lose all the meaningless things you have hoarded.
  2. Not bother with any attempt at becoming yourself, just muddling through by playing all sorts of games, such as blaming others and thus trying to manipulate them through guilt, or acting like some sort of helpless victim and thus trying to force others into helping because they feel sorry for you. You are probably also leaning on some sort of addictions here, to try to hide your fright from even yourself, your feeling of not being able to cope with the realities of life. (There are a whole host of addictions other than just drink & drugs by the way, count in gratuitous sex or violence, excessive food or sleep, gambling of course, high speeds and risk taking, and anything else that gives you a temporary but meaningless thrill, or that just numbs you..)
  3. Drop the falsehoods and become you. Along with this you will drop all fears of losing control, or of being discovered as a fraud, or as a useless waste of space, so you will go out into the world and find it coming to greet you in such an amazing way. It will provide you with all that you need to show up for yourself and those around you as a valid, useful, reliable, understanding, fair, warm, loveable human being.

It is in your power to be a balanced, happy person – if you are prepared to take on truth. Truly – you have the power to be wonderful. So let’s get together – imagine I am there with you, asking you:

  1. What’s stopping you?
  2. Why are you letting it?
  3. What are you going to do about it?

Deep down you know the answers. Learn to listen to this voice from the heart of your very being, and trust it. This is your best ever guide.

If you used to believe that you had to do things in certain ways to get what you wanted – then let go of that belief now. You feel light as all that complicated weight falls away. All you have to do is find out who the true you is, and be that. You don’t need to manipulate or control anything. You don’t need to be afraid of being found out. Just be yourself, honestly, openly, and the world will respond to you more positively.

Bring the energy of the universe and the earth into your body – tell yourself that it is supporting you – just as it does others who are being true to themselves – and that is the only support you really need. Of course family and friends, and even colleagues, will be supportive too – as they recognise you becoming at last the true you, they will feel more love and generosity towards you, and they may even look to you as an example. They will reflect your inner light and respond to your lightness of being in more natural and open ways. The new you will be greeted by the world in a new way. People’s response to you reflects back to you who you are now.

Greet this new year with an open face and an open heart – you know that you have the power to keep expanding. It’s easy once you have started! Your sense of peace increases as your self-knowledge and self-acceptance increases. Your strength comes from honestly knowing yourself and always aiming to be the best that you can be.

Don’t make empty resolutions about this or that external little thing – make one huge resolution to give yourself to yourself. Then everything else will quite effortlessly fall into place.

Oh – and don’t ever get angry with yourself for past idiocies – laugh them off. Don’t hold onto them or they only harm you – just acknowledge them briefly so that you have learned something from the mistake, then let them go and move beyond. So laugh, thank yourself for noticing the silliness, then surrender all the stuff that you don’t need any more – feel lighter as you let it go. Exactly the same applies to others – don’t blame anyone for anything, just surrender it and move on. Now you are wiser, you can handle things differently. Don’t be arrogant about it though, or believe me, the universe will throw tests at you. Surrender the misleading desires of your ego along with the rest of it – it doesn’t matter what anyone else does or thinks, it is what you do yourself that shows up who you are being in each moment. We all make slip-ups – just forgive, whether it is yourself or others, or both, and journey on towards your next best self.

Clear out things you don’t want, mentally, emotionally, and actual physical clutter. Clear the space for new things to grow, like weeding the garden to provide space for new seeds, and to give the plants you do want to keep the best chance to flourish, blossom, provide food for body, heart, and soul.

Trust your instinct to know the answers to your own questions, and what to do next. Energise your life – unlock your skills and abilities. Step out of the shadows, release binds, and clear blocks – like false beliefs, blame, guilt, anger, self-sabotage, doubt. There is no room for indecision if you are clear about what you want.

Write notes to yourself to help you clarify your aims, and clear your head. Set plans in place to take easy breezy steps towards your goals. Don’t be distracted or allow yourself to get confused or side-tracked. What you do must feel right and true to you. Don’t accept less than what you seek. Make a list of your values and tick them off as you confirm that you are living by them. Love your life – and it helps to keep humour alive.

Live joyfully. Be your own best friend, but be a friend to others too, and don’t be afraid to ask them to be friends for you. Even if you end up being the strong one, helping out, or giving advice when asked – you shouldn’t have to be an island – you deserve to have a happy band of people around to help you too.

You don’t need crutches to lean on once you start this journey properly. You don’t ever need to hide or play games either – you can look the world right in the eye, be honest with yourself as well as with everyone else.

As your patterns clarify into a true representation of who you are – life will recognise this and reflect your abundantly graceful way of BEING right back to you.

It is exhilarating to liberate yourself. You won’t be allowing yourself to be suppressed or limited any more. You won’t feel sapped of energy any more. You will become aligned with whatever holds real meaning for you. You will take care of yourself, not in a selfish way, but in a healthy way, in order to optimise your whole being – good nutrition, exercise, good breathing, positive thinking – because you are all the time learning more about yourself, and how to avoid negative spirals, and things you don’t want in your life.

You are the only one who can limit yourself, so just don’t allow it to happen.

Always expand your being, do what works best for you – breathe – expand your energy. Use the ideas in here for renewing and inspiring yourself (and I can offer you many more ideas if you want to take it further). Stretch yourself.

Don’t wait – start now. Welcome your new life in – stand tall. Open your heart and your eyes – you already have all that it takes – to be really alive. Shine on you crazy diamonds!

We have guides, and life coaching packs available for your own use at –

http://www.radiance-solutions.co.uk/essenceguides.htm

including how to use consciousness expanding tools such as meditation.

The life coaching packs include all 3 of my Achievable Goal Planning Sections in one bundle –

How to Maximise Success, Help to Decide, and all the FORMS to assist you.

Link to blog on Positive Mind and Body Talk (Intention II)

See my articles – An Holistic approach to Loving our Bodies and our Lives

and Respecting your Body and choosing sound relationships

 

2014awithtext

What a ride it’s gonna be!

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