Absolution from Absolutes – and the Cycle of Change

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There are no absolutes in the world, not really, so don’t expect too much from yourself, anyone else, or anything – but please don’t get cynical or judgemental either.

Just keep trying to be who you want to be – but don’t be uptight about it – try to relax into it.  Be ready to forgive yourself and others for not being perfect – just try to view ‘mistakes’ or unexpected events as an opportunity to learn.

You can ask yourself and others to do things, or behave in certain ways, and you may plan as clearly and carefully as possible, but we can all only do our best as fallible human beings, each with our own limited knowledge and experience.  So life tends to be full of  setbacks and misunderstandings, but we can ultimately overcome these.

Don’t worry about it – as worry is just a waste of energy.  Just quietly develop your plans.  Choose to take the power into your own hands and choose who or what it is you want to be or do – and plan how to achieve it.

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A life coach can help to advise you, but he or she is just there to help you make realistic and achievable goals that work for you and what you wish to achieve – the ultimate responsibility still lies with yourself.  They help you plan in measurable and timely steps or stages – along with planning for the necessary support, rewards, etc, and they can also help with advice such as how to discuss things with others.

If you are not sure what you want, then a good coach can also help you work this out.  Try listing possibilities, and scoring them according to how you feel about each.  Don’t be blocked by how difficult anything might seem, just be guided by how interested you are in doing it.  If needed, a coach (or counsellor) can also chat with you to tease out what you think any issues might be and help look at them with a different perspective.

You also have the power to help others plan their achievements – see the positives in them and try to express gladness to encourage them with their progress.  This might apply to a friend, or even to a person doing some work for you.  Your support can make it easier for them to get results.  If you greet a workman by telling him you are impressed with his timing, for example, and offering him a hot drink, then he will be inclined to work well for you, and you will both be pleased.

True friends (hopefully including your close family) are people who help their friends to be who they truly are, and will remind them if they deviate from that or act out of character.  They will also support them in their efforts to achieve any change or goals, so they would for example not smoke in front of them if they are in the process of giving up, or not insist on buying them a drink if they are driving, and they would understand and give them space if they needed to study for example instead of going out with them quite so often.  Someone might even offer to take on a task such as babysitting to enable you to do what you need to do.

Don’t be afraid to ask people to listen to your point of view, or to consider your needs and feelings.  If you are able to explain then there is every chance they will be helpful.

If you have a particular thing you wish to discuss, it is best to ask to set some time aside for this rather than just randomly try to throw it into a conversation.

Don’t be afraid to try new things – say yes if an interesting opportunity arises – and then take the time to plan.  Anyone can learn new skills, reach new targets, or have an adventure, if they are prepared to try.

Change could be in any area including: communication, habits or patterns of behaviour,  financial or economical, career or work-life balance, a move, relationships, fitness, health, taking up a hobby, further study, etc.

Live on Purpose.  Change is natural, there is no need to fear it, just give yourself the tools to enable the change to happen as you would wish it.

Don’t be tempted to give up if there is a setback or relapse – the cycle of change allows for this – the thing is to recognise this for what it is and just get back on the wheel.

You need to be aware that it is normal to start going well, with all the initial motivation kicking in, and then you may get a bit disheartened when you run out of initial puff, so this is the time to really be prepared – have something else in place to see you through this tough stage – like a friend to come round and help out or just chat, or go out for a meal, or take a break (such as a weekend away) to renew yourself and build up more energy, or search for new inspiration. You could even do something nice for someone else to help boost your self esteem.

Don’t allow yourself to keep flopping out in the same place – you must figure out how to get past each stage, and you will be rewarded with your own delicious sense of success

OUR LIFE COACHING PACK
All 3 of my Achievable Goal Planning Sections in one bundle – How to Maximise Success, Help to Decide, and all FORMS to assist you
1 – How to HELP yourself DECIDE WHAT you really want to do.

Help with deciding on your goals in the first place. It’s best to get really clear before you begin the planning stage so that you don’t waste time and effort. For example, you could be trying to decide which course to study, what to do as a career (or change of career), or for a hobby etc, but you can also apply it to any decision you are not sure about (like moving home, ending a relationships, travelling etc). We do sometimes subconsciously block our own progress, particularly if we are not sure what we want, or if we don’t have enough self esteem or confidence in ourselves.
2 – HOW TO develop achievable Goal Plans, and put realistic Timescales, Support, and Rewards in place TO MAXIMISE SUCCESS
Includes details of what to think about before starting your plan. Includes details of how to prepare plans successfully by avoiding certain pitfalls.  Includes details of how to keep motivated and communicate your needs to rally support.
3 – Goal Setting FORMS
Includes blank form for your use, plus a tutor form with guidelines on, plus several examples.
Examples include: 1) paying off debts, 2) losing weight & getting fit alongside study times, job, and committee obligations,  3) planning workshops with all the admin etc included, and 4) Improving Belief in Self as Parent and as having Valuable Skills & a Right to a Career of Own Choosing.

http://www.radiance-solutions.co.uk/essenceguides.htm

LUCKYCLOVER4

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Dealing With Stress: Regaining Self-esteem and Making Choices

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There are many stress symptoms below Julia discusses these and offers advice on dealing with stress as well as tips to improve your self-esteem.

Stress is something that can build up gradually without us noticing too much and then suddenly it becomes intolerable and we snap. Often we are forced to take a break from work, which then gives us time to think, and we realise that we need to re-organise ourselves. Or it might not be work-related, it might be a family or relationship situation than needs a rethink.

Gradually we may have given up our power – our personal power – to others – letting them tell us what to do more and more, and letting them push us harder and harder too. Often we let others walk all over principles, or ruin our environment with poisonous sniping and unfair demands.

We may know exactly what we want to do about it, or we may like some help and support to obtain some relief, then work through the issues and decide how best to move forward. We may also need help to plan whatever changes we wish to make. As a counsellor and life coach, I can help in both these areas.

Recognising Stress

Ideally if you recognise that you could do with some help before a situation gets too bad, then we can usually deal with things more constructively. I can help you by first clarifying the situation exactly, including your feelings about it, and then figuring out how best to sort things out. Communication can be key here, and I can help advise on that, and can even mediate if necessary. I can also help show you ways of dealing better with stress in the first place.

I have many tools to help you take back your power. I can help you re-connect with the deep self within, and re-kindle your joy in life. Awareness heightens your ability to make choices earlier and be more clear about your intentions too. Affirmations, inspirational quotes, and snippets of wisdom, all help boost your self esteem. Visualisations help give you relief and a sense of calm. Meditation takes you deeper – into a sense of bliss that arises from a combination of personal and universal power. Creativity helps you express yourself, and your appreciation of life. All this adds up to give you confidence to do what you want to with your time on earth, to make your life uniquely fulfilling – instead of stressful.

Life coaching is particularly suited to help you first of all be sure about what it is you want to achieve, and then plan for success, using realistic time scales for each step, with rewards for achievement along the way to help keep up your motivation. I am here to offer you support of course, but you should also ask those around you to be supportive to help keep you on track. However, if you do slip a bit, don’t beat yourself up about it, just get back on the road when you are ready.

Choice

You always have the power to choose whether to continue as you are, or whether to make changes. Even if you go on with what you are doing, then at least you will have very consciously chosen to do that….. it becomes easier once you have evaluated why you are making that choice. Awareness brings clarity to life. You are your own master.

Of course, counselling can help you deal with any issues, so that you can move on more effectively. Emotional baggage can set you back, but I can help you let it go. Also we can often get in our own way, for example, with fears sabotaging our attempts to progress. Effective communication is vital, whether it be at work, or with family, children, or friends. I can also help with relationships and sexuality. It is natural for us to have sensual and joyful relationships with those close to us and with the world around us. If you don’t identify with that, then let me help you discover these delights, which will add greatly to your sense of fulfilment as a human being. This in turn will help you find satisfaction in your other life choices, such as your career, and help you handle anything that’s needed to exist optimally.

I also love to work with young people, helping them make a meaningful transition into adulthood with a huge mixture of offerings and skills. Identity and belonging are areas we are weak on in our present day society, and this often results in a lack of understanding, confusion, disconnection, and emotional anguish, but nonetheless I can help.

In the meantime, let me end with a quote from Shakespeare:

“To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”

Access our full stress busting guide here

MASTERY –  Imperatives for a Masterful Life – Awareness & Intention / (So called MASTERY and what it might be, or mean. / Roundup – Beliefs & Aims / What is the Source of Life? / Does what we Believe affect what Happens to us? / What is the Nature of ‘God’ & Why would Jesus have been Crucified to save us from our sins? / What Really Matters? / What else might matter? / What can we learn to be? / What does a ‘master’ know? / What does one strive for if one wishes to work towards mastery? / Are there such things as soul contracts? / Do we learn on behalf of the ALL that is, so that the collective ONE can evolve too? / Why do ‘bad’ things happen? / As we become ‘masters’, do we find ourselves recreated anew in each moment as the same being we chose ourselves to be in the last moment, or do we continue to evolve? / HUMILITY / A little more on INTENTION / Looking back at ‘mastery’ / What might happen after death? / AWARENESS – Everywhere & Nowhere / A brief simple but powerful MEDITATION, using your intention to help others. / STREAM poem / Meditation – How to use it for Subtle Activism / Free Thinking – Helping our Young People to Think for themselves / BEING REAL – Lennon in the Collective Consciousness / You Are the ONE poem.)

Aailable from our website – http://www.radiance-solutions.co.uk/essenceguides.htm

Many more guides, such as MEDITATION ones, are also available from this page,
and also EASY AFFIRMATIONS TO EMPOWER YOU
and EASY VISUALISATIONS TO RELAX AND INSPIRE YOU

plus
OUR LIFE COACHING PACK
All 3 of my Achievable Goal Planning Sections in one bundle – How to Maximise Success, Help to Decide, and all FORMS to assist you
1 – How to HELP yourself DECIDE WHAT you really want to do.

Help with deciding on your goals in the first place. It’s best to get really clear before you begin the planning stage so that you don’t waste time and effort. For example, you could be trying to decide which course to study, what to do as a career (or change of career), or for a hobby etc, but you can also apply it to any decision you are not sure about (like moving home, ending a relationships, travelling etc). We do sometimes subconsciously block our own progress, particularly if we are not sure what we want, or if we don’t have enough self esteem or confidence in ourselves.
2 – HOW TO develop achievable Goal Plans, and put realistic Timescales, Support, and Rewards in place TO MAXIMISE SUCCESS
Includes details of what to think about before starting your plan. Includes details of how to prepare plans successfully by avoiding certain pitfalls.  Includes details of how to keep motivated and communicate your needs to rally support.
3 – Goal Setting FORMS
Includes blank form for your use, plus a tutor form with guidelines on, plus several examples.
Examples include: 1) paying off debts, 2) losing weight & getting fit alongside study times, job, and committee obligations,  3) planning workshops with all the admin etc included, and 4) Improving Belief in Self as Parent and as having Valuable Skills & a Right to a Career of Own Choosing.

http://www.radiance-solutions.co.uk/essenceguides.htm

LUCKYCLOVER4

Access our full stress busting guide here

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PEERS: Public Education and Empowerment Resource Service

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PEERS: Public Education and Empowerment Resource Service.

A great source of all sorts of knowledge……

Plus do come and join us at Back to The Garden website

and our open Back to The Garden GROUP on Facebbok.

One of the books I am writing now will also be called Back to The Garden – so by joining in and sharing information and ideas, you may have some influence on this.  The group also practices subtle activism – a type of distance meditation (at regular allotted times so that many of us together make more of a difference) to plant positive thought seeds into the collective consciousness.

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CHOICES from Childhood through Maturity to Old Age

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When we are very young we do not have a lot of choices because parents, teachers, etc tend to tell us what to do. We need guidance as we mature, and gradually we are given more choices.

Growing up can sometimes feel hard. often perhaps because we are not yet ready for the sense of responsibility that comes with making choices. Perhaps also we do not feel we have been given enough background knowledge to enable us to make good choices. We could arguably always feel short of confidence due to this, but there is no complete answer to getting this right, one just has to start finding out for ones self somewhere along the line. We have to accept that even making choices that turn out to be mistakes are still part of our learning and maturing. We can get help from researching information, talking to friends, counsellors even, but at the end of the day the time comes for us to make our choices for ourselves, without anyone telling us what to do any more.

We often forget that it might not matter very much if some of our choices are ’wrong’, in fact they might not be ’wrong’ in actuality, but have given us the opportunity to try something out and learn from it.

We tend to beat ourselves up if we make mistakes, but everyone makes mistakes! If we judge ourselves harshly, does this mean that we also treat our family and friends this way? If we pour scorn on others, they will tend to walk away, so why pour scorn on yourself – you have to live with yourself – so try to be understanding of your own ways.

Often there is no blindingly obvious ’right’ or ’wrong’ choice – we may have to try out the options anyway, and be patient with ourselves. This is just all part of life, maturing further. We never stop learning really.

If you feel stuck in a place and a job you are not that happy with, then the worst thing you can do is dwell on thoughts about how unhappy you are. One thing is for certain, the more you tell yourself you are unhappy, the more you will be! The best thing to do is to focus on the positives – for example – the area is cheap to live in and the job pays well, therefore you can save a lot for whatever you might want to do next.

So, this means you are making a choice. You have decided to be there and do this job for the meantime at least, and you can review this choice any time you want to see if it is still the best choice for that time. You have identified why it is the best choice for now, so now you can focus on trying to decide what exactly it might be that you want to do next. Again, internet research, talking to people, etc, can provoke ideas. Surely it is better to stick something out until you know what you want to do next, rather than just drift off, or walk away in anger, with no options in place?

There is no need to be manic about trying to find answers, sometimes it takes time. Meanwhile, we can also find hobbies that help keep us interested, stimulated, active, etc. We can look at our diets too and ensure that we are well balanced and healthy – obtaining all the vitamins and minerals we need to keep us optimally functioning. A lack of something can cause all sorts of issues, often including physical and mental lethargy. It is harder to get everything we need these days from a simple diet as our soil has become depleted and our environment polluted, so sometimes we need to keep topped up, and we also need to keep well hydrated so that our bodies can detoxify properly.

Being able to turn something around from feeling stuck in negative reactive thinking about your situation, to the fact that you have made certain choices and why, is very empowering.

Once you feel better about yourself, you will be more able to see the path ahead, and plan positively for it. You may not be so sure that what you studied at uni, for example, is the line you want to go on working in, but perhaps there is a path slightly off centre to that which would suit you. Perhaps you know somewhere deep down that all your received teaching is not necessarily one hundred percent correct, so perhaps you might want to investigate the anomalies further? Perhaps your role in life is to shed new light on a topic. You don’t have to stop doing research just because you finished uni – one’s whole life could be regarded as research if you want – research, then experimenting via experience, then further development from what you learn.

You can share things you discover, or even just think about, via all sorts of media, publications, talks, through writing songs, just networking. There is a whole world of people out there interested in listening.

Curiosity is one of man’s greatest instincts. Many other instincts underpin our survival, but curiosity spurs evolution. Without it we become stagnant, like a blocked stream. But with it, we are able to keep moving, have the energy to consider change, be alive to our choices.

Awareness and intention are both necessary to enable us to understand our situation and then formulate what our choices might be, and the reasoning behind them. This means that we do have to think about our situation, but we must not allow ourselves to dwell on it in a negative way as this produces a downward spiral. We need to be a little detached if we can, try to look at it logically rather than too emotionally. If we pretend we are looking at someone else’s life perhaps, this should reduce the emotional content. However, when looking at possible new choices, we need to have the emotion back in. We need to know what excites us, what feels like a poor option, what seems logical yet is not inspiring enough, what feels intuitively right. (You can do this by writing things into columns, scoring things, drawing brain storming diagrams, etc. You can do it alone, or you can do it with friends.)

If you still feel stuck then you probably need a boost – maybe it’s a shortage of some mineral, maybe you need a holiday in the sun, or some work experience of a different nature in your ’spare’ time. Maybe you need to travel and discover some totally different place, with different perspectives on life, to reawaken your sense of adventure.

In the prime of your life you should have the energy to follow your inspiration, and even to find that inspiration again if it has become lost somewhere – under a pile of old books perhaps, or under your desk or carpet at work, or perhaps you chucked it out by mistake along with an old relationship. Claim it back, it’s yours! No amount of disappointment should douse its flames. Let go of the other stuff you don’t need – any sourness or guilt about an old relationship, or a job, or family issues – and reclaim what you do need in order to move on. Forgive past stuff and let it go, holding onto it only hurts you. Forgive others, but also forgive yourself. Be grateful for what good you did get out of it, even if it was just a lesson, and then turn your face forwards and head on up the road. Now be grateful for the things you do have right now, and the chance to move towards fresh choices.

You are a unique being come here to live on earth. Find out what it is you really want to do and journey onwards. Remember that our earth is here to support you in many ways – keep grounded and balanced by connecting with it, and try not to harm it. Remember the universe is there to support you too, reflecting the fullness of your true being, and deepening your sense of knowing who you are. Being in touch with the world around you helps keep you steady as well as aware. Use your intuition to filter the stream of information. so that what you glean is knowledge that is right for you, rather than just swallowing whatever you are fed. Always remember that you have the power to choose.

Having a family is a very big choice to make, and too often we just fall into it without the committment that it takes. It is your choice of course to take the proper precautions until you feel you are both ready.

As always we have to realise that choices we make on behalf of our children will not necessarily always be ’right’, we can only try our best. It is better to have some experience of the world first, try out a few things, so that we have got to a place of some balance within ourselves.

Even so, there is so much room for misunderstanding in a relationship, especially one that is focused on the kids. We have to not blame each other for stuff, choices we made along the way, and try to understand and respect each other’s points of view. People often feel trapped by commitment, but often it is not the relationship itself, but outside things like having to move country, not being able to give up your job because of having to provide security for the family, etc. It may be more constrained, but there are always still choices, you just have to discuss stuff properly as friends, and work primarily as a team. It is important to be honest about how you feel, but fair, taking into account also how the other feels. As ever you should try to focus on the good things instead of the negatives, find the things to be grateful for, especially in each other.

It is very sad sometimes that the best choice seems to be to split up again, but that is still better than suffocating each other slowly if you have grown too far apart to resolve things. If you love (or have loved) someone, you would surely prefer to set them free than to go on being a cause (or perceived cause) of hurt to them. It is no good clinging together because of fear of how you will manage, as that will only end up causing more resentment. Once you know you have to make the choice, you will find ways to manage.

As we become older we are hopefully even less tied to the world out there in some ways. We may be able to be more free in our choice of what we do for example. If we are lucky, we may not need to put up with other people telling us what to do too much anymore. We may have more time to talk with people, to find out details about things, such as how the world really works, and we may have more time to share what we have learned. We can be more detached from what goes on, so we can see the bigger picture more easily.

We don’t have dependents anymore, so we have less to lose, thus fear is less likely to stop us from saying what we think and doing what we see fit to do, although obviously we won’t get too cranky. We can choose to accept people and situations for what they are, or we can still choose to make changes. Either way, by this time we figure that we must be about as informed and experienced as we are likely to be, so we accept full responsibility for our choices, and consequently tend to be more at peace.

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Be The Best You For The New Year

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I wrote this blog for another website this time last year, so I can share it here now.  The fact that I wrote it for another site, accounts for the different sort of tone than I normally use, please forgive me for that, try to look at it as a bit of fun, and do please let me know what you think!

Okay, so right from the start I will ask you to bear with me as I am going to be a bit tough here. It’s to get the best out of you – for your own good – IF you really want to be the best you. [Actually it’s not hard work, it’s just the concepts that may be challenging.]

So I want you to promise me that if I say something that really pulls a chord within you, don’t throw your hands up – give yourself a chance – take it as an opportunity to help yourself learn and grow! Delight in your ability to take on something that really matters – your responsibility to yourself – delight in the challenge.

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Now, I’m not saying anybody’s ever going to be ‘perfect’ – I’m certainly not! All we can do is be the best we know how to be, and aim to keep moving forward with that as we learn more how we can do that. The concept of ‘perfection’ is misleading in itself because to be perfectly human simply means just to be human – to accept yourself as you are – but from there on in, to strive to be truly, fully, that which you are, more and more completely, so that you can enjoy life in all it’s abundance, utterly.

I doesn’t mean saying “This is me, put up with it!”. It does mean getting to that place where you can say “Yeah, this is me – this is how I feel good in myself – and this is how I can feel happy to go out in the world. This is the me I want to share, with all my skills, caring, strength, unique characteristics, etc.

So take a deep breath, and promise yourself that you are going to reward yourself with this good feeling. You are not going to be puffed up with artificial pride and pretend that you are above others though – you are going to be humbly at peace with yourself. You are going to accept the full flow of joy in your life, which is balanced because it goes both ways – you show yourself to life and to the world, and life and the world show themselves to you – it is all quite natural.

Even if things get tricky, you are not going to give up and be a baby – you are going to take a bit of space for yourself to accept the beautiful life stream deeply into yourself, to renew, boost, strengthen, and calm you. As you breathe, feel it flowing into your heart from everywhere around you, the earth, the universe. It flows in through all parts of your body and lifts you up to a higher frequency.

Allow yourself to rest in this while you take stock – as you start to steady, ask for understanding and inspiration to flow into you along with the energy – and look for what you can learn from the situation, which will then show you how to move ahead again and deal with things.

Now I want you to get yourself past blocks that might be limiting you. You have learned things in your childhood and from your experiences that have coloured your views so that you don’t see the full picture. You have formed judgements and beliefs based on limited teachings and viewpoints. That’s nobody’s fault – it’s just one of those things that happens due to the very nature of our vulnerability – it’s just something we have to realise and grow past. So now I want you to open up to the possibility that things could be different. You aren’t going to let these limitations block you from being who you fully can be – are you?

I want you to realise that this is the same for everybody at some point, but people manage to get beyond it – some more easily than others – but really it is just a matter of not holding on to things that aren’t helping you. Once you recognise what your blocks are, you can release them – because you know they don’t really belong to you and to where your life is going now. Or you can do it the easy way and just decide to be open to all possibilities, decide to just not accept limitations, because you are the best person to know who you really can be if you just let go and allow life to welcome you.

Who wants to be limited by the thoughts of others? So take on your own responsibility for what you believe your reality to be. Do you really believe you should be limited in your journey of discovering who you really can be? NO! Then be true to yourself – find out what you REALLY feel, who you REALLY are.

You aren’t a child anymore – you should not expect to be molly-coddled by others – you should stand up & earn your right to be truly loved – not pandered to because people are afraid you might sulk or get stroppy – but loved for being your honest self. If you were spoilt as a child then don’t let that go on spoiling your life – let go of the belief that everything should go your way, and learn a bit of give and take. If you try to manipulate people then they will treat you with equal disrespect. Grow up – this is me and you here – you’re an adult now – and adults should not be spoilt brats.

Adults go on learning for themselves, instead of depending on others – they learn how to go on growing into themselves – into the people they truly should be.

They expand into the largeness of all the fascinating possibilities that life offers, the opportunities to learn, and to be a magnificently fulfilled human being. When you become yourself, as you gently grow into each moment as more and more of who you can be, then you are opening yourself up completely to love and life in all its forms – beauty, abundance, meaningfulness, balanced relationships….. and so much more.

It is honestly all your choice to either:

  1. Pretend to be something or someone else, constantly having to pull more tricks out of the box to impress or try to cover up lies, always desperately hoping that your house of cards won’t fall down just yet, but sick inside because deep down you know that it will one day. Then you will probably lose all the meaningless things you have hoarded.
  2. Not bother with any attempt at becoming yourself, just muddling through by playing all sorts of games, such as blaming others and thus trying to manipulate them through guilt, or acting like some sort of helpless victim and thus trying to force others into helping because they feel sorry for you. You are probably also leaning on some sort of addictions here, to try to hide your fright from even yourself, your feeling of not being able to cope with the realities of life. (There are a whole host of addictions other than just drink & drugs by the way, count in gratuitous sex or violence, excessive food or sleep, gambling of course, high speeds and risk taking, and anything else that gives you a temporary but meaningless thrill, or that just numbs you..)
  3. Drop the falsehoods and become you. Along with this you will drop all fears of losing control, or of being discovered as a fraud, or as a useless waste of space, so you will go out into the world and find it coming to greet you in such an amazing way. It will provide you with all that you need to show up for yourself and those around you as a valid, useful, reliable, understanding, fair, warm, loveable human being.

It is in your power to be a balanced, happy person – if you are prepared to take on truth. Truly – you have the power to be wonderful. So let’s get together – imagine I am there with you, asking you:

  1. What’s stopping you?
  2. Why are you letting it?
  3. What are you going to do about it?

Deep down you know the answers. Learn to listen to this voice from the heart of your very being, and trust it. This is your best ever guide.

If you used to believe that you had to do things in certain ways to get what you wanted – then let go of that belief now. You feel light as all that complicated weight falls away. All you have to do is find out who the true you is, and be that. You don’t need to manipulate or control anything. You don’t need to be afraid of being found out. Just be yourself, honestly, openly, and the world will respond to you more positively.

Bring the energy of the universe and the earth into your body – tell yourself that it is supporting you – just as it does others who are being true to themselves – and that is the only support you really need. Of course family and friends, and even colleagues, will be supportive too – as they recognise you becoming at last the true you, they will feel more love and generosity towards you, and they may even look to you as an example. They will reflect your inner light and respond to your lightness of being in more natural and open ways. The new you will be greeted by the world in a new way. People’s response to you reflects back to you who you are now.

Greet this new year with an open face and an open heart – you know that you have the power to keep expanding. It’s easy once you have started! Your sense of peace increases as your self-knowledge and self-acceptance increases. Your strength comes from honestly knowing yourself and always aiming to be the best that you can be.

Don’t make empty resolutions about this or that external little thing – make one huge resolution to give yourself to yourself. Then everything else will quite effortlessly fall into place.

Oh – and don’t ever get angry with yourself for past idiocies – laugh them off. Don’t hold onto them or they only harm you – just acknowledge them briefly so that you have learned something from the mistake, then let them go and move beyond. So laugh, thank yourself for noticing the silliness, then surrender all the stuff that you don’t need any more – feel lighter as you let it go. Exactly the same applies to others – don’t blame anyone for anything, just surrender it and move on. Now you are wiser, you can handle things differently. Don’t be arrogant about it though, or believe me, the universe will throw tests at you. Surrender the misleading desires of your ego along with the rest of it – it doesn’t matter what anyone else does or thinks, it is what you do yourself that shows up who you are being in each moment. We all make slip-ups – just forgive, whether it is yourself or others, or both, and journey on towards your next best self.

Clear out things you don’t want, mentally, emotionally, and actual physical clutter. Clear the space for new things to grow, like weeding the garden to provide space for new seeds, and to give the plants you do want to keep the best chance to flourish, blossom, provide food for body, heart, and soul.

Trust your instinct to know the answers to your own questions, and what to do next. Energise your life – unlock your skills and abilities. Step out of the shadows, release binds, and clear blocks – like false beliefs, blame, guilt, anger, self-sabotage, doubt. There is no room for indecision if you are clear about what you want.

Write notes to yourself to help you clarify your aims, and clear your head. Set plans in place to take easy breezy steps towards your goals. Don’t be distracted or allow yourself to get confused or side-tracked. What you do must feel right and true to you. Don’t accept less than what you seek. Make a list of your values and tick them off as you confirm that you are living by them. Love your life – and it helps to keep humour alive.

Live joyfully. Be your own best friend, but be a friend to others too, and don’t be afraid to ask them to be friends for you. Even if you end up being the strong one, helping out, or giving advice when asked – you shouldn’t have to be an island – you deserve to have a happy band of people around to help you too.

You don’t need crutches to lean on once you start this journey properly. You don’t ever need to hide or play games either – you can look the world right in the eye, be honest with yourself as well as with everyone else.

As your patterns clarify into a true representation of who you are – life will recognise this and reflect your abundantly graceful way of BEING right back to you.

It is exhilarating to liberate yourself. You won’t be allowing yourself to be suppressed or limited any more. You won’t feel sapped of energy any more. You will become aligned with whatever holds real meaning for you. You will take care of yourself, not in a selfish way, but in a healthy way, in order to optimise your whole being – good nutrition, exercise, good breathing, positive thinking – because you are all the time learning more about yourself, and how to avoid negative spirals, and things you don’t want in your life.

You are the only one who can limit yourself, so just don’t allow it to happen.

Always expand your being, do what works best for you – breathe – expand your energy. Use the ideas in here for renewing and inspiring yourself (and I can offer you many more ideas if you want to take it further). Stretch yourself.

Don’t wait – start now. Welcome your new life in – stand tall. Open your heart and your eyes – you already have all that it takes – to be really alive. Shine on you crazy diamonds!

We have guides, and life coaching packs available for your own use at –

http://www.radiance-solutions.co.uk/essenceguides.htm

including how to use consciousness expanding tools such as meditation.

The life coaching packs include all 3 of my Achievable Goal Planning Sections in one bundle –

How to Maximise Success, Help to Decide, and all the FORMS to assist you.

Link to blog on Positive Mind and Body Talk (Intention II)

See my articles – An Holistic approach to Loving our Bodies and our Lives

and Respecting your Body and choosing sound relationships

 

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What a ride it’s gonna be!

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